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she was to pretty to be pure
Contributed by
Cancer
on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 02:28:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
daddy said "you're so pretty"
daddy said "come over here"
he softly kissed her on the cheek
and then daddy...
every day was much the same
the pain, the shame
the endless blame
she was too pretty
it was all her fault
she was too pretty
to be pure
how many years
since it began
how many years
left ahead
her tears so automatic
as his bulk sank onto her bed
only sixteen
but old inside
her eyes like dusty windows
that looked out across sunless hell
bloody handprints
streaked across the grime
as if someone had been....
every day was much the same
the pain, the shame
the endless blame
she was too pretty
it was all her fault
she was too pretty
to be pure
daddy:
too long
too much
every night:
too long
too much
so long
her fault for being pretty
her fault for being weak
all her fault
all...
it stung
it burned
but it felt so good
the knife slashing her face
blood fell to her breast
the promise of scars
not pretty anymore
daddy won't want her anymore
cut after cut
the taste of blood and tears
laughing as her tears watered
the innocence he'd killed
not pretty anymore
Copyright ©
Cancer
... [
2004-01-02 14:28:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by PumpkinPie on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 02:40:08 PM AEST
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This poem is a pretty dark one,and also a sad one,but nicely written,I can imagine her pain inside how so itense it must be,and I can imagine it thanks to your writing.Job well done,
PumpkinPie |
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 03:01:57 PM AEST
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Ouch!! this is sad..but well written/
Jenni |
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 03:02:20 PM AEST
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Wow. Excellent portrayal from an unexpected perspective. And I never expected the twist at the end. All in all, very nice.
Just one problem: yes, I know I'm being grammar-obsessive here, but for some reason, the 'to' in the title, where it should've been 'TOO pretty' kinda threw it off a little for me. BUt then, it's prob'ly just me. |
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cancer on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 03:05:50 PM AEST
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yeah, i guess i forgot the "too". oh well, nobody is perfect. and i'm nobody. i think i'm joking, maybe not.
51 |
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cristi on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 04:05:18 PM AEST
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| That is a great poem, it is so sad, yet i understand every word... if its from you... i feel your pain. |
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by loopylou on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 05:00:28 PM AEST
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| so sad!!...,very well written,the feelings so well expressed,well done |
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 07:19:21 PM AEST
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this was really good and very emotional and heart-rending. I really enjoyed the 'eyes like dusty windows' part put some wierd imagery in my head.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Valerie_Pearson on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 07:44:48 PM AEST
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| Great job on this one, so very sad but very powerful, take care Val |
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stalkee on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 11:41:45 PM AEST
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| this stirred up a lot of emotions in me, i liked it a lot...a very dark write...awesome job |
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by alecfernadez on
Saturday, 3rd January 2004 @ 12:27:01 PM AEST
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| i can relate to this poem, excellent write |
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Sunday, 4th January 2004 @ 09:54:21 PM AEST
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| i've been too pretty to be pure since i was four........you hit a nerve.........as always my dark friend.......you get inside.....awesome...... |
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Re: she was to pretty to be pure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Monday, 5th January 2004 @ 11:03:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Cancer... Man that was totally awesome... I mean that was totally wicked... |
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