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Looking Back
Contributed by
calista
on
Tuesday, 6th January 2004 @ 07:42:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
and now i look back,
on all my spent years,
i question my laughter,
and i question my tears
was i so scared
that feared my own fears?
i think now,
past that time,
that state of mind,
of what I could have thought to do,
what i thought i knew.
no trace of any memory
surfaces to show me
what was going on in my mind that day
and the day before it
that made me wish
i could end it, just split
was i not seeing
or was i only dreaming?
looking back,
i question my motives
to halt my emotions
i had built up so delicately
only to crash upon?
what crazed notion
had creased my devotions
why did i close my eyes
my heart, and my will
to know what i saw was not just a thrill?
clarity proved to me
i would always see
no matter how tight i shut my eyes
clench my fists
and try to disguise
through the darkness it would prevail
my entire sob story in one long wail
and i weep for the truth that i know will come
but i dodge any pain that may come, and make myself numb
a common practice
i have learned to master
any time, any circumstance
a smile i can plaster
a passerby would not have a chance
to see, with a glare, stare, or glance
to know what i dont show
deep inside
the real me
the feel-me
where my smiles are upside down
and the tears pour all over the town
because the heart is raw
burnt, and immune
no one can see my delicate tune
wrapped so tight
in protection from light
and sight
to those i know cause fright
upon me and my night
so there can never be
a person close to me
to really see...
whats going on inside of me?
i look back,
and question me...
Copyright ©
calista
... [
2004-01-06 19:42:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Looking Back
(User Rating: 1 )
by MajesticPoet on
Tuesday, 6th January 2004 @ 08:53:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I loved the ending, very powerful. Keep up the good work and keep them coming.
Majestic |
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Re: Looking Back
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Tuesday, 6th January 2004 @ 10:04:22 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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So full of emotion, pain, sadness & reflection. Great to read and I certainly relate.
Kie |
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