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I have no title for this yet
Contributed by
Pyrochick
on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 11:55:33 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
She waits impatiently
watches the clock
watching minutes go by not fast enough
the bell rings
she's the first outta there
to go see him
just to find he's with another girl again
she walks out of the room
he's stumbling
trying to catch her before she leaves
she gets in her car
trying to find her keys
he's banging wanting her to stop
she keeps driving
she reaches home
and runs to her room
cries all afternoon
weeks go by
she still thinks of him
she looks at the clock wanting it to stop
just to stop the world and the hurt
he calls and calls
she cries and cries
she doesn't want to listen to his *****
she falls asleep
with the image of him in he head
she wishes she never met him
she wish she were dead.
Copyright ©
Pyrochick
... [
2004-01-08 11:55:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I have no title for this yet
(User Rating: 1 )
by xDeex on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 12:06:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| lots of emotion... i can relate...great write! |
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Re: I have no title for this yet
(User Rating: 1 )
by alecfernadez on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 12:21:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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you show such emotive presence and passion in this poem, its incredibly good, great, excellent!!!
Anyway, write more amazing poems like this one!
Alec Fernandez |
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Re: I have no title for this yet
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 08:30:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Suggested title "Unworthy"
Really well written. It's hard to get this sort of emotion across but you have succeeded very well.
I tried it from the male point of view with
"I don't want to see you anymore"
but didn't quite make it as well as you have.
bob |
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