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Wind-Up Toy
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 01:50:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
why, hello
would you be interested in purchasing anything today?
here we have
a wind-up toy
look at that sweet smile
painstakingly painted on her
--I mean, on its--
plastic face
turn the switch on its back
--that little catch, see, here
beside the price tag--
and it moves!
amazing, huh?
if you wind it up properly
it even laughs
wait, my apologies--
don't choose this one
I think it's broken
its spring is slowly uncoiling
although, of course,
it still moves and laughs
when it's supposed to
automatic, see.
but surely you want
another one . . .
oh?
what's that you ask?
"how must it feel
to have the spring that propels you
slowly uncoil?"
ohhh, hahahahaha
my dear, silly customer
it's just a wind-up toy.
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2004-01-08 13:50:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 )
by MissTea on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 03:08:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow! theres such meaning in that. Like a friend of mine often say, " My smile button is broken", well i hope my coil lasts forever as well as my smile.
brilliant poem, BRILLIANT
MissTea |
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Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 08:37:21 PM AEST
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Takes me back to when I was a child.I never liked mechanical dolls particularly those faiground figures that rolled around laughing.
Novel subject nice touch
bob |
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Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 09:10:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
How very creative, How original, How well written and how well it fits.
It seems even our Drs.,or least mine...treat us as the wind-up kind...but when they hold out their hand.....its not for spam...they want big bucks, but is there really loving care behind their fare?
I know the feeling Nora...how well you wrote this poem...I thought it was brilliantly created too!
lovingcritters
ConSue |
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Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Friday, 9th January 2004 @ 06:44:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow.. *picks lower jaw up off of floor*
Unrelenting creativity, so much talent. It made me take a new look at common objects, and find meaning in the simplest of things. Nora, your ability as a writer is solid gold.
Truly,
-Dan |
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Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 12:58:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Hahahaha. I loved it. I think I must go ask a salesperson something like that. Lol. I think it would be ammusing. |
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Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 )
by ArdRi79 on
Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 04:23:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is an incredible poem well written u should frame this thing or send it to publishers, it is insightfull and poetic while still keeping a hard hitting edge that strikes a chord in the common heart,
I feel like an exec in a suit ick... |
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Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Wednesday, 21st January 2004 @ 03:54:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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MakesmewanttoPUNCHthatsalesperson.
Which proves how much I take this to heart.
This is wonderful. Simple, clean, and the point hits you like a brick wall. That's an envied talent that's very rare; and you definately have it.
Keep writing,
-Eve. |
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Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 10:39:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Super creative and orginal. Nice.
Spazzo |
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