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the erotic art of freezing your lover to death pt. 3
Contributed by
Cancer
on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 03:10:58 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
(he)
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he had wanted to wait
until she was dead
but he couldn't
all the blood that she'd coughed up
pock-marked her face
like a million scarlet beauty marks
it was more than he could resist
his hands roamed her body
clumsy
hungry
fumbling
as if it were his first time
her glazing eyes still cried
and it made it all the more exciting
to see her cry
to feel her pain
to lick her face
and taste not only blood
but tears
he sat up on his knees
continuing his invasion
and grabbed another bucket
splashing it's contents
onto her breasts and face
she tensed
contracting around him
squeezing his member
'til he feared it would burst
then her entire body went limp
and he knew she was going into shock
he leaned back down
kissing her softly
as he continued to stain her
her eyes were open
but she wasn't moving
he thought her unconscious
or dead
(she)
his face above her's
her blood on his breath
she thought he might be raping her
but her body had gone numb
so she really couldn't tell
everything began to blur
the edge of her sight paled to white
she almost sighed
as she realized that she was finally dying
in a moment
it would all be over
he opened his mouth
breathing the hot smell of her own spilled life
into her face
he said,
"oh, oh,
oh god i love y..."
and then the top half of his head exploded
all movement stopped
if she could have still felt
she would have groaned
as his dead weight sagged onto her
his head, or what was left of it,
tilted forward
draining his blood
into her partly opened mouth
for a moment
she thought she could taste
her own violated blood
seeping from his skull
a blurred movement in front of her
and then she fainted
she woke, partially
and felt her whole body screaming
hot air rushing onto frozen skin
she was back inside the car
a blanket
maybe a coat
covered part of her still naked body
she could feel the car's jerking movements
each bump woke fresh pain in her
she fought to stay awake
but found the dark much less painful
through her fading consciousness
she caught small pieces
of the stranger's rambling monolouge
"to muh house...
..........
not far from here...
..........
never heard noone scream so loud...
came to see what was g....
.....saw that maniac gettin' at yuh
...........
me and muh shotgun took care of....
.........
.....ix you up ri...
rything's gonna be just fine...."
as the darkness came again
she silently cursed and thanked the stranger
for saving her life
waking, again
she could feel that she was lying down again
on a mattress
blankets lay heavy
on her still screaming skin
but the pain was more tolerable now
just before she opened her eyes
she had a strange sensation of deja-vu
something too familiar
something wasn't right
when she opened her eyes
she saw her hands above her head
and they were tied to the headboard
as a sharp pain in her stomach
contracted her body
her thighs brushed together
and she realized that she was still naked
her eyes scanned the room
it was lit softly
by a poorly constructed fireplace
her stranger
an older man with thinning hair
sat next to the fireplace
draining a jug
of what she guessed to be moonshine
her movement caught his eye
and he smiled and said,
"well well well
it's about time you come 'round.
thought i'd lost you there for a spell."
he muttered softly to himself for a moment
then stood
letting the jug fall to the floor
he staggered a jagged line
to the bed
standing beside it
looking down at her
"don't get much comp'ny round here.
i been a might anxious
for a moment like this.
and i reckon
after me savin' your hide back there
you owe me.
gosh, you sure are a pretty young thing"
then he tugged the blankets off the bed
and began unzipping his jeans
just before everything went black
she found the strength to scream
one last time
Copyright ©
Cancer
... [
2004-01-10 03:10:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the erotic art of freezing your lover to death pt. 3
(User Rating: 1 )
by stitches on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 03:38:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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would this be considered a "happily after all"?
much praise, i'm getting tired of the endings where everything always works out |
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Re: the erotic art of freezing your lover to death pt. 3
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 04:02:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I guess I'm the opposite to stitches ... I was hoping she was going to die, or at least get saved ... but to have to go through it all again, I couldn't bear it ... it made my skin crawl .. but then, I guess that's the expected result, so you did well, .... great write ... Jan |
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Re: the erotic art of freezing your lover to death pt. 3
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 04:09:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| all three......a brilliant masterpiece.........in the end......... all she really had was that sign stuck to her forehead......labeling her a perpetual victim..... |
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Re: the erotic art of freezing your lover to death pt. 3
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 04:47:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Sure this is vey dark........the ending part is very unexpected for those who are normally optimistic, well bad luck......I liked this one, the way the poem flows as the story progressed was perfect. About the story itself.....what can I say very imaginative, hope no one'll have to go through that situation heehee. The best part of this was the Point of view thing. Its really good. You have a way with describing things.
Anne |
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Re: the erotic art of freezing your lover to death pt. 3
(User Rating: 1 )
by MissTea on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 04:50:16 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
wow again!!
a horrific ending to a horror filled poem! Brilliant, fantastic. you deserve a prize for this one!! WOW. i loved all three poems!! BRILLIANT
MissTea |
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Re: the erotic art of freezing your lover to death pt. 3
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Tuesday, 13th January 2004 @ 07:07:59 PM AEST
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Good Buddha (saying Good God or Good Lord gets to be repetitive and monotonous after awhile). *Scratches his head* Well I am confused and delighted as to why this didn't get blocked. I thought this was bloody brilliant and I loved the twist how the guy got shot and the irony of how she was still in the same position as she started in.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: the erotic art of freezing your lover to death pt. 3
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 06:03:03 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Hahahahahahahaha!!!! That was great! I loved how it ended. Very sick man. Wicked awesome. |
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