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Silence
Contributed by
alecfernadez
on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 01:23:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Nobody stays with me,
amazingly quiet,
Everything so peaceful,
I close my eyes and see,
An old man worn by life,
Feeding ducks at his bench,
Leaves float down to the floor,
Carried by winds of life,
I want there to be more,
This world of peace cant end,
But it has to end now,
My peace cannot last long,
But I wait here hoping,
Hoping for more silence,
No more reality,
Just that old man sitting,
So peaceful and alone,
No pain; No blood; Freedom,
Freedom from this mad world,
But I realize that,
He can never be real,
And my reality
Waits for me, To come back
And the silence will end,
And I will die again
Copyright ©
alecfernadez
... [
2004-01-10 13:23:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by MissTea on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 01:28:30 PM AEST
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hey
Good poem, i felt the urgency in it. your silence can last as long as u want it to. it will stay with you when ur surrounded by people, when you feel you need to shout and scream and hurt someone, when u turn on ur radio; it will always be there but only make itself known if u welcome it.
Good poem, made me feel sad actually!
MissTea |
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by MissTea on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 01:28:42 PM AEST
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hey
Good poem, i felt the urgency in it. your silence can last as long as u want it to. it will stay with you when ur surrounded by people, when you feel you need to shout and scream and hurt someone, when u turn on ur radio; it will always be there but only make itself known if u welcome it.
Good poem, made me feel sad actually!
MissTea |
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by MissTea on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 01:30:05 PM AEST
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sorry about the double post there.
at least u'll have 3 replys to one read!
:-)
again, good write!
MissTea |
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 01:50:38 PM AEST
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Lol sorry but I was laughing about Misstea's triple posting...
This poem really hit the spot! It's so good to stop watching people doing their daily routine and getting detatched from the world thinking that you are jjust watching a movie and this isn't reality. Maybe wake up find it was all a dream, and you can finally start living but we all know its not. Thats why I liked this one I know exactly what you mean, the bitter end is really appropriate, it depicts reality.
Hmm quite a long comment :p hope it made some sense hehehe
Anne |
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by dudleysgirl on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 01:53:29 PM AEST
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| Ok alec, here goes. After reading the comments in one of the forums, I'm a little afraid to say anything. But you've been good enough to read and comment on mine, so I'll return the favor. In general, I liked the feeling in this poem. Very stark, very deep, very emotional. I believe that you have talent. It's a little abstract for me, I'll admit, because I'm not sure what, exactly, you're trying to say. I'm a simple poetwannabe. I write simple things and enjoy simple things. lol I will read this a few more times and see if I can grasp your full meaning. Just let me say that your level of feeling and thought patterns intrigue me, and this alone will keep me coming back to your work. Thanks. Judy |
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Empty_Soul on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 02:31:46 PM AEST
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i know wat you mean about the comment thing, I had about 30/40 people read my Vampires Curse poem an only got 6 comments I think, bastards the lot of em! lol. j/k luv ya all really. Anyway to the poem now, very good write i enjoyed readin this, a lot of emotion went into this. Still not completely sure about the full meaning of it but from what I can tell you really value silence....they say it is golden after all, at times silence is an amazing escape from reality your thoughts can really come to life and create something like this poem. Very well done, sorry this was such a long comment! :-P hehe.
ES |
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Re: Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by EmSal on
Sunday, 11th January 2004 @ 01:35:35 AM AEST
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Wow definately interesting...especially the last few lines. Interesting perception for silence for you. Good job ey.
Don't worry too much about the read and commenting ey, even the people who have been here a long time don't get that many. Including myself. There are people not registered to this site who just like to read, not leave their presence behind. Just do what you do and be proud of that ey. But anyways good job on the write.
Emma. |
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