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our final words
Contributed by
Cancer
on
Sunday, 11th January 2004 @ 11:55:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
in the rain we stood
no words left to say
communicate with eyes
things better left unsaid
and you tried
you tried so hard
to make your eyes look sad
but i could see the happiness
i could feel your relief
the best thing that could have happened for you
you tried to touch me
to put your hand on my cheek
but naturally you couldn't
we both laughed awkwardly
and just stood there
i broke the silence
whispering into your mind,
"it's ok to be happy
it's ok to move on
i understand completely"
you feigned a look of shock
then blushed when i didn't buy it
your eyes found the ground
i would have touched your chin
lifted your shining face
if i could
i whispered again,
"i want to hug you so badly
just touch you once more"
in your mind, my voice was shaking
our eyes met again
and i saw a tear
a real tear
slowly descend your cheek
goddamn you don't know how bad
i wanted to wipe that tear away
so hard
so hard to let you go
but....
"it's time" i said softly
"it's time for you to move on
and it's time for me to go
be happy
and remember that i love you
no matter what you do
i love you"
if my heart had still mattered
it would have broken
when the urge to kiss you one last time arose
and all i could do was look at you
memorize your face
your body
the memory of your love
"go" i said
you kissed your fingertips
and clumsily placed them
where my lips should have been
where my lips would have been
if not for.....
then you turned away from me
and left me to stand alone
by the fresh soil of my grave
and you
you walked away
walked away to better things
and i
i just faded away
faded away to Nothing
Copyright ©
Cancer
... [
2004-01-11 23:55:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: our final words
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 12:03:25 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Wow, awesome write ... loved the twist ... just perfect... Jan |
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Re: our final words
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 01:18:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Wow... that was amazing. Absolutely love the end. Brilliant!
~ Moonlit |
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Re: our final words
(User Rating: 1 )
by dudleysgirl on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 02:10:23 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
One thing that marks good poetry is the emotion a piece evokes from the reader. This made me cry. I love the ending - goodbye with a twist. Very nicely done.
Judy |
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Re: our final words
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 06:57:20 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| oh my god..........the chills you evoke with emotion......... |
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Re: our final words
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Tuesday, 13th January 2004 @ 07:12:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
this had me spellbound.
Bobo (joel) |
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Re: our final words
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Wednesday, 21st January 2004 @ 04:02:50 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Was this like your first almost love poem... I think it was... Good write man. I really liked it. |
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Re: our final words
(User Rating: 1 )
by punkpoet on
Wednesday, 8th December 2004 @ 11:25:03 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
hey great poem...liked every word!!!!!!!
nice work!!!
punkpoet / mick |
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