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the flame, game!
Contributed by
deathdrop
on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 01:17:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
silent screems,
fly from the ashes,
once your burnt,
or past sene flashes.
it's not over,
when you've been buned alive,
the cuts are to deep.
but still you survive!
like it's your fault,
that you were born,
now there's nothing left,
'coz your minds so raw!
and you wanna hit out,
'coz your bleeding inside,
and you know that they're laughing,
as they take you for a ride.
so you break, and start to cry,
so they wanna know what's wrong,
but you say it's nothing,
when your dieing all along!
Copyright ©
deathdrop
... [
2004-01-12 13:17:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the flame, game!
(User Rating: 1 )
by alecfernadez on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 01:31:39 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Its a pretty upbeat poem, or at least seems to be upbeat. I dunno if thats what you wanted to achieve. Ok I can see the depression, but the temp suggests an almost rap/rock korn/limpbizkit kinda thing, which is pretty cool to acheive. Anyway i'm confused, so, keep up the good work
Alec Fernandez |
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Re: the flame, game!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 01:35:18 PM AEST
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Oh what a poem! Wonderful. I know what you mean! Lol pay attention at school! (look whose talking....ahem..)
Anne :D |
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Re: the flame, game!
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 02:33:09 PM AEST
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| i really understand and can relate. never stop writing. phil |
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Re: the flame, game!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Thursday, 22nd January 2004 @ 12:25:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I agree it was upbeat in the felt tempo to it. Yet dark. I like that. I ecspecially like those last lines. |
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