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My Dream
Contributed by
13hopes
on
Tuesday, 13th January 2004 @ 06:28:49 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I sit upn the cool wet sand as the vaves flow up around me.
Behind me a huge red cliff, the red desert stretches beyond.
Befor me as i sit alone the bay water plays quite peacefull.
As i write your name along side where i sit, calmness is what i feel.
Along comes a wave and takes you away, frustration sets within.
Again your name i wrtie, again the waves take you away.
Yet determined to keep your name beside me, frustrated and anger i feel as your name is washed away.
Write all day is what i will do untill your name does stay.
Complete and happy as i feel when the waves come no more. Then i make the decision to leave the west, again come east to come knock upon your door.
Copyright ©
13hopes
... [
2004-01-13 18:28:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Tuesday, 13th January 2004 @ 06:33:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Love the thought, If someone were writing my name in the sand like that, ohhhhhh. I'd melt into a pool of sweet nothingness. (the spelling...or typos?) Only fault I found and I lookd HARD. LOL. good job. |
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Re: My Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Tuesday, 13th January 2004 @ 06:47:49 PM AEST
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| I love the idea behind this ... and think the ending is perfect ... good write ... Jan |
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Re: My Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 13th January 2004 @ 07:44:24 PM AEST
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Good work, my friend.
Very creative and deep thoughts.
huggs, luv,
emy |
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Re: My Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by DJ_The_Young_Grasshopper on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 12:32:54 AM AEST
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| Very good imagery. 5 stars. |
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Re: My Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Monday, 26th January 2004 @ 10:19:47 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| That was really good. Kinda hurt to read for pain off loss but it was damn good. |
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