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Just another Poem About Love
Contributed by
stephen_rutherford
on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 01:38:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Love is but a word that isn't real
love is a word that we all long to feel
Love has caused such pain, what with i can not deal
Love's only meaning in this life is to kill
To kill the hearts and minds of poeple in the world
Love is that damn word that has everyone swirled
Swirled into oblivion where their minds are lost and their hearts are hurled
Hurled into a world of pain, That leaves them curled
Curled up like a baby crying everynight wishing to die
Evernight wishing to let it all go and say goodbye
The pain I feel inside is to much for me to even try
So on this night I make my choice to let it all go and say goodbye
Love is the word that has brought me so much happiness
Love is the word That I am surely going to Miss
Copyright ©
stephen_rutherford
... [
2004-01-14 13:38:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Just another Poem About Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by dudleysgirl on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 01:52:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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stephen, I'm so sorry that love is so painful for you! The thoughts you express here, I'm sure have been felt by countless others. Myself included, though at my age, I have a different slant on love. ( see my poem 'Love on the Cynical Side') :) But because you seem to be hurting so badly, I hesitate to give you an actual critique of this piece. :(
I'll just say this: I like it very much. It's very real. My suggestion, if you are interested in turning your pain into something constructive, is to give it some time and then come back to this and rework it from an objective viewpoint. As an expression of your feelings, this is good. But as a poem of healing effect for the reader, you would do a great service by reworking some of it.
Good work, and I hope your outlook will change some day.
Judy |
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Re: Just another Poem About Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Tuesday, 27th January 2004 @ 02:28:18 PM AEST
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| I have no idea what she said... I think this was a bittersweet write. I think it was very well written. It was borderline dark and sad without being overly dark. Fits your style nicely. I fully agree with you as well. |
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