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I'm crying

Contributed by AliB on Sunday, 18th January 2004 @ 03:11:15 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry



I'm crying 'cause I'm lonely
I'm crying 'cause I'm sad
I'm crying 'cause my first born son
Is turning out quite bad

He's had my full attention
For quite a few years, he forgets
We were more like brother and sister though
And his dad he has never met

He's always been quite head strong
A bit like me some would say
But why has he turned against me?
When he's told that I love him every day

He's a teenager, got chucked out of school
Although intelligent and bright I am told
It was his behavior the school had a problem with
His language and temper didn't fit the mould

I've tried getting help from different places
Doctors and counsellors don't work
He's now started hanging round places
Where only the scum of the earth seem to lurk

I've tried being calm and not shouting
Understanding this difficult phase
We'll hug and make up for a few hours
Then he just throws it back in my face

I've asked him about drugs, he denied it
'Till one day he admitted smoking dope
That's when I really started to panic
Thats when I felt there was no hope

So, I'm still crying now through frustration
I'm crying 'cause I'm worried sick
I'm crying, I don't know what he's getting into
I'm crying in case he ends up in the Nick!




Copyright © AliB ... [ 2004-01-18 15:11:15]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: I'm crying (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Sunday, 18th January 2004 @ 03:29:09 PM AEST
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big hugs! hmm.. i have been where you are now and today my son lives w/ his uncle in philadelphia and is going to an acadamy, and is going to be a pilot, at the time i was so hurt and lost like you are, but things have a way of working out, my only regret in life is i let him move away for his own happiness, its very very hard now for me and my other two kids w/out him, but for us it was the right thing, when it was all going on i was crying, torn apart and never thought he'd be okay or that we would have a loving relationship again, but now he visits and even came for a month last smmer, it was devine, i wrote 3 poems about him, 'true to you', 'forever call home', and 'my babys a man', maybe there will be something in one of them that might help you sort through this, if you want to talk im here for you, much love nessa
oldengmastiff@hotmail.com


Re: I'm crying (User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on Sunday, 18th January 2004 @ 03:49:59 PM AEST
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oh boy... this sounds like a tough situation. His only help is the Lord...


Re: I'm crying (User Rating: 1 )
by Jellybellyprincess on Sunday, 18th January 2004 @ 04:23:09 PM AEST
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I'll say same as the above..... I mean, I've never ever seen such things, so I really wouldn't know anything about what you're going through..... But I've had a relationship with God and Jesus Christ and, well, (I know I sound like the cornyest thing there ever was, but it's true), God gives the utmost peace and calm. I'm not saying at all that God takes away problems of the world, but he does say that he will always walk by your side with love, comfort, and peace in troubled times. Many people who I've known for a long time have felt his hand of peace and comfort.

If you've no interest in what I'm saying, it's Ok, not many people do....
but if you want to talk, you can pm me any time, day or night =) I'll be there =)

God bless,
Ellen


Re: I'm crying (User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on Sunday, 18th January 2004 @ 05:34:03 PM AEST
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My heart goes out to you.

Kie


Re: I'm crying (User Rating: 1 )
by Dawny on Sunday, 18th January 2004 @ 05:34:31 PM AEST
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I wish there was an easy answer to your problem. I was in a similar place just 2 years ago. My son was only 6 years old, and he was violent, disruptive, and was developing strange behavious rountines. It took a year of hearing he was just a naughter boy for them to finally diagnose him as autistic with attention deficite disorder. Its not easy, but I just give him support and do the best I can.

With my son there was a reason, and there may well be for your son. Has he had any tests for behaviour problems? I really hope you can get the help you need, you sound like a wonderful mother, and your poem is amazing. If you ever need to talk, I will be here to listen.
Love Dawny x


Re: I'm crying (User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on Sunday, 18th January 2004 @ 05:55:13 PM AEST
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I wish there were an easy answer...In times of darkness I have always turned to my faith for strength...You have my prayers

shari


Re: I'm crying (User Rating: 1 )
by positivelypurple on Sunday, 18th January 2004 @ 06:18:03 PM AEST
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Wow - I'm sorry you are hurting. All I can say is that my brother was the same way and went through a similar phase with my mom. She kept showing him love and he eventually came to appreciate it once again. I think that's all you can do at this point. Best of luck and God bless.


Re: I'm crying (User Rating: 1 )
by Empty_Soul on Wednesday, 21st January 2004 @ 08:47:26 AM AEST
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I feel for u. I am 18 and in the last 2 years I have seen the errors of my ways, I truley used to be a little bastard lol ask any of my friends especially luke (forver_lonely) i had no repsect for anyone or anything and my temper was very volitile, i used to hang around wit a lot of ***** 2. but if ur son is like me, ie people say he is a really nice lad, so intelligent etc, then he will see his flaws from ur eyes 2, it may take some time and persuading but never give up hope. amazing poem with so much emotion.

keep on fighting
never stop writing

John xx




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