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Thoughts of Death
Contributed by
Empty_Soul
on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 04:52:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
I sit alone on the edge of my solitary life
wondering should i pick up that lustful knife?
To end this existence would bring me joy
but what device of death should i employ?
The knife is sharp and sure to kill
or maybe i should take this nice round pill?
This rope i hold is strong and bold
or should i drown in water so cold?
To slit my wrists would make too much mess
prehaps that rope would be best?
But where to hang i do wonder?
I must think quick, for death i hunger
My mortal coil is soon to end
then the heavens to my soul will tend.
Copyright ©
Empty_Soul
... [
2004-01-19 16:52:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Thoughts of Death
(User Rating: 1 )
by jme on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 04:58:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very dark, but expressed so well. |
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Re: Thoughts of Death
(User Rating: 1 )
by AliB on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 05:02:12 PM AEST
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Wow ! Very discriptive, I loved this, keep up the good work.
Ali xx |
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Re: Thoughts of Death
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remi on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 06:06:59 PM AEST
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| well I hope it was just the music not your actually thoughts believe me it not a good thought i been there believe me |
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Re: Thoughts of Death
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 07:11:50 PM AEST
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Really nice dude my favorite so far
now you know if ever these thoughts even endered your brain or a micro second that i would be round your house kicking the living poop outta you so watch i buddy hehe kidding (i would kill you myself lol)
Keep it up dude
head and writing we cant lose either
Luke |
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Re: Thoughts of Death
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chadene_Gillespie on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 10:28:02 PM AEST
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| very descriptive and dark, good job |
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Re: Thoughts of Death
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Tuesday, 20th January 2004 @ 11:28:46 AM AEST
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| what the hell were you thinking? 18 years old and your whole life ahead of you. BOY!!! Wake up and smell the Latte! Man oh Man...BEside that....I really like the 2nd stanza...its perfect...balance and everything. The first one...you need a shorter word, lustful don't do it. LOL and another thing, you don't necesarily have to drown in cold water...it can be comfortable. They say drowning is one of the best ways to go. The round pills never do it unless you put them in a pie or something...you just vomit them back up or something. Mortal Coil...you're only 18 where did you dig that up???? corrrrrrrny????? I have grandaughters your age..always dwelling on darkness and death. SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!!! Pwease???? You'll be running our country soon...God...everyone will be staked out on a tree..LOL |
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Re: Thoughts of Death
(User Rating: 1 )
by fallen_eyes on
Tuesday, 20th January 2004 @ 07:36:02 PM AEST
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| I like very much so! mr tickle bum it is very good. I really loved the emotive words it was easy to sink into. And it was dark. loved it T x |
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Re: Thoughts of Death
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 03:56:37 PM AEST
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| mmmm.... sounds like a delemia lol, it just struck me as funny cause i can hear myself having that conversation and saying oh heck, too much bother ill wait, your poem is actually so excellent as it makes your reader think deeply, keep writing, hugs n' love nessa |
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