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Tortured Pain
Contributed by
Empty_Soul
on
Tuesday, 20th January 2004 @ 08:01:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
My pain engulfs me in a sea of hate
all happiness is gone and now its too late
for me to live and to enjoy
now my heart the pain will destroy
i sit here alone in my godforsaken room
i look around and can see nothing but gloom
in my soul my sadness grows
how i wish this pain would go
my body starts to crack at my pain's peak
we now shall see the body is truely weak
as it breaks and starts to crumble
the world around me starts to tumble
Fallen angels now hear my cry
crimson tears from stone now dry
the battle lost, and so I shatter
into the realm of eternal matter
I'm sure A_Bear will love pickin this one apart, I no u love my hate filled suicide poetry!!!! LOL! PS thanks Luke (forever_lonely) for ur help finishing this off, cheers dude!
Copyright ©
Empty_Soul
... [
2004-01-20 20:01:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Tortured Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Tuesday, 20th January 2004 @ 08:04:51 PM AEST
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Great write dude i idnt help much at all just an odd word here and there thats all your the poet im just a writer
Really fuelled with raw emotion this write john keep up the great work
Luke |
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Re: Tortured Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jade on
Tuesday, 20th January 2004 @ 09:36:54 PM AEST
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| IT'S A GREAT POEM DEFINATLY MORBID BUT TO ALL OF US WHO LIKE POETRY THAT WAY IT IS DEFINALTY A GOOD ONE |
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Re: Tortured Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Tuesday, 20th January 2004 @ 10:33:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| So many emotions found in your poem. Sadness, lonliness, despair, pain etc. I thought it was written really well and you did a fine job with expression. Kie |
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Re: Tortured Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Wednesday, 21st January 2004 @ 05:22:44 AM AEST
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Wow, this poem is one of the best you've written!! Very sad. The way you've expressed the pain is really amazing, vivid description and the flow is winderful. And you say you're not a great poet???! hope you realize you're not just a poet you're a very skilled poet!
Anne :n) |
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Re: Tortured Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by AliB on
Wednesday, 21st January 2004 @ 06:13:20 AM AEST
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It amazes me how you put all these feelings into such good poetry! Your poems are about the same thing but expressed in so many different ways, I love it well done.
Ali xx |
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Re: Tortured Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Wednesday, 21st January 2004 @ 09:53:44 PM AEST
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loved it. ya little brat! Now go read mmmmmmm It'll take your mind off that darned revolver or pill and if your only usin one hand for the guitar...well? rotflmao
a_bear |
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Re: Tortured Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Tuesday, 10th February 2004 @ 03:31:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Oooh I like this ecspecially the last stanza. |
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