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Painted With Tears
Contributed by
Vitreous_Soul
on
Sunday, 25th January 2004 @ 05:32:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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There she lay, quietly awake in bed
Thoughts and memories spin in her somnolent head
Emerald eyes fixed upon the cracks in the ceiling
Restless this night, an unwavering feeling
In darkness from bed, almost sleep walking
The silence is cold, lifeless and mocking
On a wooden bench she sits, aching from exhaust
A piano before her tries to return happiness lost
Her soft fingertips gently caress the ivory
Then struck is the first note of this midnight rhapsody
Resonating heartbreak in whirling melodies
A droplet falls from her eye onto pearl white keys
Her eyes grow blurry with this passage played so slow
Now the sound that filled the air falls into decrescendo
Her face falls into her hands, a cry so strong and deep
Upon the piano, crystal tears, they bead while she still weeps
Rising up with a haunting chill, as if a winter storm
The tears now shed, a work of art, she gives them fitting form
A heart is drawn, a broken heart, bearing a chasm in the middle
Beneath a question mark, she wonders how to solve this riddle
Then forms a reflection, she wants to see no more
She sweeps a hand right through the tears, they sparkle on the floor
Cat eyes weary from the spell, she lies down in repose
In hope that tomorrow will be the day for that painful door to close
Copyright ©
Vitreous_Soul
... [
2004-01-25 05:32:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 25th January 2004 @ 05:48:57 AM AEST
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Very deep, awesome, intense, remarkable>>>>>>well there arn't enuff words to discribe this masterpeice.
huggs,
luv,
emy |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Sunday, 25th January 2004 @ 06:03:32 AM AEST
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I can only give it 5 and echo emy's comment
Wonderfully evocative
bob |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Sunday, 25th January 2004 @ 10:06:35 AM AEST
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I'm speechless this poem is awsome! Can't find suitable words to describe it! .....deep.....sad.......passionate......touching etc This is one of the best i've ever read! Great write! glad to have read it! Amazingly skilled! Keep it up!
Anne :D |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Sunday, 25th January 2004 @ 01:10:08 PM AEST
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| I must echo all the other comments. It is a masterpiece! From the first line, I had goosebumps break out. Like I was there, I saw her and I know how she feels, I do. Every time I think you can't possibly write something deeper or filled with emotion more, you surprise me. This is a ((5)) and it is the work of a great poet. You have so much talent v.s. and I feel so lucky that you share it. Kie |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Sunday, 25th January 2004 @ 04:26:19 PM AEST
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Wow, Dan. This and The Last Sonata just might take their place next to The Poet as my favorites of yours. Oh, wait, and Lionheart, and Cut the Brake Line, and Undeserving, and Gleamed the Steel, and--
okay, I'll stop before I list them all :). Great job, Dan.
--Nora |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Sunday, 25th January 2004 @ 04:47:54 PM AEST
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That is amazing. Utterly beautiful. I shower you with praise! *showers with praise confetti* Hehehe
Seriously, excellent poem!!
~ Moonlit |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Sunday, 25th January 2004 @ 04:57:39 PM AEST
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V.S
Oh my good god(if there is one) this is unspeakably unimaginably unthinkably masterful (lol im un'ing), a masterpeice in every sense of the word, the images this write speaks are as colourful as the emotions it draws upon, they use of language, the flow, the structure everything absolutely amazing
i echo all the other comments but then i start them again this is something that time will never forget.
Only you v.s could create something so brilliant
Luke |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by fallen_eyes on
Sunday, 25th January 2004 @ 05:01:56 PM AEST
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wow great poem, so intense, emotional, the words are fantastic.
T x |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Sunday, 25th January 2004 @ 05:29:02 PM AEST
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wow this was so beautiful I loved the imagery in this poem so strong and striking. i loved it this was poetry in its HIGHEST form.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Monday, 26th January 2004 @ 08:04:49 PM AEST
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This hits on a personal level, honestly. Wonderfully written and piercing to the core.
Keep writing,
-Eve. |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by fallen_eyes on
Tuesday, 27th January 2004 @ 09:48:01 AM AEST
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| wow this poem is amazing i dont know what to write! the description is fantatsic its just truely increadible. love always T |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Friday, 30th January 2004 @ 05:40:11 AM AEST
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You're only ever getting better, you know that? I put you up on my favorite poets list for good reason. The rhymes are fantastic, and the rythm is stronger than ever.
"Leaden sails and sunken hearts; two the same, yet worlds apart."
~The Palatine Poet |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Thursday, 19th February 2004 @ 11:43:12 PM AEST
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| Truly poetic write. Nicely done man. It's like perfectly written. Sheesh. |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Monday, 12th April 2004 @ 08:20:19 AM AEST
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| i'd give it 10/10. it's beautifully intense but still excellent. the words fit together fabulously! i love it! |
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Re: Painted With Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 03:13:19 AM AEST
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I like the correlative poetic and poignant intent behind this, although I dont' think it has the same impact as 'Last Sonata' - it certainly IS a gripping work. I saw 'green eyes', and remembered who this must have been about . . . and it heightens the poignancy in such retrospection.
Commendations. |
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