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As Unbearable As I Can Bear
Contributed by
jeanie
on
Wednesday, 28th January 2004 @ 03:56:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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As Unbearable As I Can Bear
Lots of love for my dove
Whispered rain without brain
Silly words of deaf birds
That got no point left helpless by a joint
Speech of smoke gets you
With every stroke you shiver under the cure
Salvation never comes
Coz all pain is caused by passion
It's sticked to your drums
Makes them groan during session
Is it an extasy or a torture of mind?
I just lack phantasy, potential behid
I wish I were a bird
So I could fly above my head
And wasn't drowning inside....
Copyright ©
jeanie
... [
2004-01-28 15:56:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: As Unbearable As I Can Bear
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 29th January 2004 @ 04:03:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I'm Silchan :D
wow, odd poem...and you know what?! ;) I LOVE it :D
Impressive association of words, one after another, it gets that raffinated logical nonsense!!! It's smth you can't get with brain, it's not logical communication but it's smth which innests a reaction in deeper levels....evochin mysterious analogies. It's allusive, smth like magic which you can't get in reality but...you feel like you got the sense... Subject and object can't be very well distinguished, but they're united in an deep and dark and gloomy unit...
Violent and weird imagines are creating a contrast of words which makes the tension at the limit of paradox of interior conflicts ( never comes>>, *pain* at the opposite side of *passion*, extasy* and *torture*).....all the tension arrives till the break-point, and with the poet wish to become a bird, there's not a relaxment of mind, it's not a freedom, but after that crisis it comes the depression of the ego, suggested by the bird drowing inside....
what more can I say....GREAT job ;)
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Re: As Unbearable As I Can Bear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aika on
Saturday, 31st January 2004 @ 05:27:38 AM AEST
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| oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh, Try to fly... you can.. wish i could ease your pain.... love, aika:-) |
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Re: As Unbearable As I Can Bear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 02:43:28 PM AEST
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Ooooh. I really liked this one. I love how it was worded. I don't know I did though.
Ecspecially these lines.
'Speech of smoke gets you
With every stroke you shiver under the cure
Salvation never comes
Coz all pain is caused by passion'
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Re: As Unbearable As I Can Bear
(User Rating: 1 )
by dAWn on
Thursday, 1st April 2004 @ 09:15:48 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| bizzare like a 'smoky' (:D) dream... |
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