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The Sinner's last wish
Contributed by
eternityslyre
on
Sunday, 1st February 2004 @ 08:58:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Blessed are the eyes that can see throught the lies
Cursed is the poor soul within
Worn is the mind that shan't dare look behind
Fresh is humanity's sin
His mind moved beyond him
His age beyond years
His eyes far beyond grim
His pain beyond tears
How do you weep for the nature of man?
Whence comes the woes for the life of the dammed?
When everything's secrets and crime is abound
The last thing one wants is to see through the sounds
I weep naught for loved ones, there's no woe for dead
The coffin's not lifeless--I am , instead
The last tears I've shed are all tears for myself
How do you win when the worst hand's been dealt?
I loathe my existence
I hate that I see
I still cry for no one
Please, what's wrong with me?
Copyright ©
eternityslyre
... [
2004-02-01 20:58:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Sinner's last wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Monday, 2nd February 2004 @ 02:17:35 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Damn...great expression of how you feel. The flow here is above reproach, the rhymes are smooth, and your word choice is, as usual, perfect. Very well done, my friend.
Truly,
-V.S.
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Re: The Sinner's last wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Monday, 2nd February 2004 @ 02:33:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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WOW.
Hate to be unoriginal, but WOW. I am absolutely blown away. You've outdone yourself here.
The flow and the way the rhymes unfolded were faultless. The words themselves were well chosen and poignant. A few of the rhymes weren't as fully rhymed as they could've been, which detracts a little, but on the whole this was quite good.
Nice job.
--Nora |
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Re: The Sinner's last wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by afraid_of_fear on
Monday, 2nd February 2004 @ 02:42:59 PM AEST
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I am with ShadowDaughter when she says this blew her away.. the rhythm, the rhyme, the words, the meaning.. everything about this is just spectacular..
wow..
charlotte x_x_x |
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