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A Deeper Shade
Contributed by
Vitreous_Soul
on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 12:20:11 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Through these veins runs a virulent poison
Drawn from the ruthless edge of apathy's blade
Within this flesh a spirit, once thriving, now malignant
Searing venom leaves agony that will never fade
With this perpetual, nocuous flow
My eyes are as the poison
A deeper shade of peridot
My tainted plasma, my pulsing burden
A cardinal river of perdition and fire
How it burns, every drop multiplies the torment
Dissolving hope and incinerating all desire
My blood by my own hand shed
Equal parts scarlet and toxin
A deeper shade of red
Unremitting, there exists no antidote
Flowing until every cell is afflicted
My fluttering heart still pumps the venom
Bound in solitude, forever constricted
No return, there's no way back
The absence of love leaves my soul
A deeper shade of black
Copyright ©
Vitreous_Soul
... [
2004-02-04 00:20:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 12:29:17 AM AEST
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| i luved it! that was some good writing! |
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 01:33:29 AM AEST
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Niiiiiiiiiice, Dan . . . best word-usage I've seen from you in a while.
I won't sully this beauty any further with inadequate words to describe it.
--Nora |
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 05:20:27 AM AEST
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| Awesome...very dark feelings .venkat |
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by winged on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 09:51:24 AM AEST
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| I want to thank you for this poem. It was very well written. |
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 04:16:00 PM AEST
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"There are times when being alive is akin to being bitten by a rattlesnake." This made me giggle. I am with you. As for the poem, amazing. Thats how I feel every time I read something of yours. (Amazed...) Kie
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Friday, 6th February 2004 @ 10:30:32 PM AEST
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My jaw just dropped straight through the floor and into the depths of the Abyss.
I'm quite certain that this is the best poem I've seen since last year (And the last one was yours as well).
I hate you. Paint me green.
Keep writing or may your teeth fall into the Abyss,
-Eve. |
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Saturday, 7th February 2004 @ 01:46:26 AM AEST
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| The description in the poem is brilliant. Good job, loved it. |
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Saturday, 7th February 2004 @ 08:07:05 AM AEST
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Woooaahhh dan this was amazing
You have captured the very essence of what you were saying here with astounding brilliance, the structure and use of words left me tingling for more, this has to be my most favorite piece by you along side every other peom youve ever written :D
keep them up dan this is what i call a definative style lol
Luke |
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Saturday, 7th February 2004 @ 08:07:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Woooaahhh dan this was amazing
You have captured the very essence of what you were saying here with astounding brilliance, the structure and use of words left me tingling for more, this has to be my most favorite piece by you along side every other peom youve ever written :D
keep them up dan this is what i call a definative style lol
Luke |
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Saturday, 7th February 2004 @ 05:29:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Whoa!! What an amazing powerful poem! The wording is really stunning I loved from the first verse actually even the author's note is great hehe, Agree totally agree such a great metaphor! Can't express how much i love this one! Very dark! Great
Anne :D |
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Sunday, 8th February 2004 @ 07:34:39 AM AEST
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I gave it five for excellence as a poem (but being an emotional coward I did not enjoy it)
I cringed.......but then I was supposed to wasn't I?
bob |
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on
Monday, 29th March 2004 @ 04:16:46 AM AEST
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| you never cease to amaze me my friend... this was brilliant. this was dark... this was PERFECT! |
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Re: A Deeper Shade
(User Rating: 1 )
by twinkletoes on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 06:14:00 PM AEST
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I was told by the weaver of dreams to get my a*** over here and have a read of your stuff...I particularly like this piece. A very good pattern and a very good story.
tt |
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