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Afraid to love
Contributed by
Cobalt
on
Monday, 9th February 2004 @ 12:14:22 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
My love always told me
that we'd be forever
I always told them
love me or lose me.
Baby you know that
I'll always love you.
Darling I'd rather die than
lose one momment with you.
You know I love you
but it's so hard to
let them go.
Well baby I know
you still love 'em.
Don't worry I'll
hold you till
you let them go.
Sweetheart I know but
sometimes I get hungry
and others I'm thirsty
then sometimes babe
I stumble and I fall.
Baby I've been there so
when your hungry I'll feed you
when thirsty I'll quench your thirst.
Babe when you stumble and fall
I'll always be there to
help you back to your feet.
Yeah, but sometimes I cry.
Well you could shed
a thousand tears and
soak a thousand shirts
but still I'll be here.
And sometimes I die.
Well darling I know this.
I just want you to understand.
When you talk I will listen,
when there is pain I will share it,
when you feel like dying I'll live for you,
and I just want you to know that
I love you.
I love you-I love you. (said in unison)
Raven's Sin
Copyright ©
Cobalt
... [
2004-02-09 00:14:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Afraid to love
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 9th February 2004 @ 12:46:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very good!
written like a pro.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Afraid to love
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Monday, 9th February 2004 @ 01:24:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
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as usual...a five. never thought of dialogue form before. I did find either a spelling error or a typo...won't tell you where...hmmmm maybe its a four? won't vote, too undecided. LOL...
mary (cyber queen)rotfl) |
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Re: Afraid to love
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Monday, 9th February 2004 @ 02:38:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Oh Jeff, how endearing this poem was.
I could see it being played out on the stage.
I really enjoyed this one cobalt.......it was more like the things I like in my life.
Love, endearing words, with loyalty and courage.....exquisite delight!
consue |
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Re: Afraid to love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on
Monday, 9th February 2004 @ 03:29:41 AM AEST
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| I'm with lovingcritters, this could be turned into a play. Very nicely written, I'll definitely be reading this over and over again. |
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Re: Afraid to love
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 9th February 2004 @ 04:21:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| seen and enjoyed your write.. venkat |
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Re: Afraid to love
(User Rating: 1 )
by 13Hopes on
Monday, 9th February 2004 @ 06:06:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I have never read a poem in such a form, very well done...
Cheers,
#13 |
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Re: Afraid to love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Monday, 9th February 2004 @ 12:42:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow... feels like i stepped into a private conversation here... nicely done |
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Re: Afraid to love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 9th February 2004 @ 05:01:51 PM AEST
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| This one touched my heart. It had depth and I think the conversation really pulls at the heart strings. You should consider writing more like this, it was very good. I wish you the best. Kie |
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Re: Afraid to love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 9th February 2004 @ 11:06:28 PM AEST
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I love the way this poem shows the steadfastness of true love. Great job!
Andrew |
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Re: Afraid to love
(User Rating: 1 )
by tatortot on
Friday, 20th February 2004 @ 11:03:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very good poem, i really like it.
tatortot |
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