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Locked inside forever
Contributed by
Disenchanted_Poet
on
Friday, 13th February 2004 @ 11:34:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I quit, it's no use, all efforts in vain
I struggle, I pry, this cage brings me pain
This cage has a lock, a lock with no key
What's in can't escape, forever bound they will be
I've tried with my tongue
The lock to pick, to set them free
But I mumble, I stutter, I stammer
My tongue's not the key
Fingers and wooden cues
I present them in a tune
But nothing's noteworthy
The struggle resumes
My tongue or a tune
These keys always fail
So I try with my actions
Maybe they will prevail
I jerk, I turn, I twist
I do everything right
But even this key won't fit
I give up the fight
All methods are lost
No more keys exist
They remain locked eternal
In this dark caged abyss
I tear up in a corner of loneliness
My wretched familiar home
Crying out in utter silence
The cage remains closed
Who's got the key, where is it?
These questions frustrate my mind
But such questions are useless
They just waste my time
Copyright ©
Disenchanted_Poet
... [
2004-02-13 23:34:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Locked inside forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shadow on
Friday, 13th February 2004 @ 11:44:58 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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To answer the question you have the key. It's your mind. It wont open until you tell it to. Now about the poem. It was good. I liked the rhyming. Not many people bother now. This is a change and it is good. You should put more out like this in the same rhyming format. It's a challenge and thats always good. Good job. This wasn't a waste of time.
Tank you. |
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Re: Locked inside forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by Disenchanted_Poet on
Friday, 13th February 2004 @ 11:50:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I thank you for your comments. I agree in essance, that your mind holds the key. Sometimes though, your mind is so intwined with finding a key, you never notice it is right there. Our minds play funny tricks on us. :D Thank you again for the comments, and I appreciate your suggestions, and will work on more like this one..
Disenchanted |
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Re: Locked inside forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Friday, 13th February 2004 @ 11:56:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very nice poem! I like the way you used your words. Very nice! |
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Re: Locked inside forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by MajesticPoet on
Saturday, 14th February 2004 @ 12:08:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very nice wirte. Had a easy flow to it, and shows the struggles I think we all go through.. Keep them coming..
MaJ |
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Re: Locked inside forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Saturday, 14th February 2004 @ 01:26:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Oh wow, this is really good. :) |
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