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Girl Suicide
Contributed by
AmaNdAsHepArD
on
Wednesday, 25th February 2004 @ 05:41:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
The empty smile behind the empty face
Which passes you by
Each day not knowing not wanting to care
Until the girl behind her fakeness
Screams out loud instead of in silence
She smashes the mirror without her reflection
And cannot see her lifes not been forgotten
She laughs and smiles
Pretending to care
All awhile with her empty glare
If you look close enough you can see through
Her eyes see all the feelings that we despise
For she has no name, face, or reflection
No mark left on the world to share
For when shes gone no one will care
Or cry any tears
For her darkness has passed
Each and every time not wanting to care
With a bottle of pills and a sad looking smile
She grabbed the blade and began to slash at her wrist
Without care, for the blood
That she spilled did not stain the ground
But formed a pond for her to swim
And a place for her tears
For the girl who is pale, sickly, and sad
The pills which shes swallow no one would care
Now her blood is pouring and her heart is dying
Finally she says
I have been forgotten
Now I sit in a puddle of doom with my tears
And last breath spent hating you
For I am the girl
With the empty smile behind the empty face
Which passes you by
The girl looked in awe at the site
That shed seen
For as she lay dying
Her face became clean
And she saw the reflection
Of a dying child
Copyright ©
AmaNdAsHepArD
... [
2004-02-25 17:41:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Girl Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 25th February 2004 @ 05:56:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I hope your not the girl! good write though well thought out. |
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Re: Girl Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by neglected1 on
Wednesday, 25th February 2004 @ 05:57:55 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow!! very good... i just hope that the girl you are refering to isnt you because people do care... and noone should feel emtpy or put harm onto themselves... i really enjoyed the emotion in your poem also the free verse.. keep up the good work!!
~neglected1~ |
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Re: Girl Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by Quilted_rag_doll on
Wednesday, 25th February 2004 @ 07:32:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Amazing! I like how its free verse, but there is still a lil rhyming here n there. I liked how you described the things happening, i felt like i was the girl. nice details, and good wording. Also the ending was great. how she smashed the mirror, and then at the end, saw her own dying reflection. Its a great poem. |
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Re: Girl Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by emphaticplacebo on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 12:31:55 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| wow that is a really great write! I really got into the poem, and I think its really great how you wrote it in free verse, its much more easier to feel the emotion that you are relaying. Great job and I hope to read more from you :) |
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