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Metallic
Contributed by
AmaNdAsHepArD
on
Wednesday, 25th February 2004 @ 05:43:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Your metallic lips
That kiss my wrist
Keeps my blood warm
As it pours from my body
Onto your tongue
Absorbed into it
Sweet, bitter tasting
Mixing with my tears
It makes me feel, feel anything
And as I tremble
When you kiss me
I feel safe
I cant control my fate my destiny
For your metallic lips
I hunger for
Entwined in blood and tears
Falling into a pit of razors
With a straw up my nose
I cant stop spinning
For your metallic
kiss
Copyright ©
AmaNdAsHepArD
... [
2004-02-25 17:43:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Metallic
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 25th February 2004 @ 06:44:17 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very dark indeed but please don't dwell on it!
very good write. |
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Re: Metallic
(User Rating: 1 )
by Quilted_rag_doll on
Wednesday, 25th February 2004 @ 07:23:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very nice. I like the way you described and talked about the razor & its kiss. you made it sound like two lovers. its very expressive & intriguing. Beautifully put, and nicely worded. good job... |
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Re: Metallic
(User Rating: 1 )
by WorthlesSanity666 on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 02:19:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Great write! You expressed the emotions well. Good job. |
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Re: Metallic
(User Rating: 1 )
by emphaticplacebo on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 12:35:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| That is so very real! You did an awesome job of describing what you feel, and I totally related to the poem, keep up the great work, I love it and will continue to read your fantastic work! |
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Re: Metallic
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kittenfantastico on
Thursday, 29th April 2004 @ 02:34:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Ok, like wow. It's as if you were wirting my thoughts also.
good work. |
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