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Final Sacrifice
Contributed by
forever_lonely
on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 08:56:25 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
A lonely women, her heart is smashed
Her husband lost, his throat was gashed
A murder one, but two lives killed
Across the floor, her blood was spilled
The reality tough, but not the end
For to the heavens, she did ascend
She stood on clouds, as light as air
But for fantasy she did not care
She looked for him, she felt him close
Angels passed, but she saw ghosts
A cry from far, her husband true
As fast as light, to him she flew
He stood through bars, of golden grace
Trapped inside a golden vase
Through the bars their mouths connect
The movement hot and so perfect
In heavens where this women stood
But to stay there, not she could
For shed sinned, the ultimate
To repent it was to late
A darkened sky a minion came
A demon blood, with no name
She looked to it, she kissed her man
With a flash, he rushed and ran
He went to god, he pleaded hard
He told her for that girl hed guard
God did nod, she knew why
She could not stand, and let love fly
She let him go, she knew his fate
To save her on this final date
His heart was true, his head was scared
But in this moment true love flared
He ran to her, she saw his eyes
She let out screams and raging cries
He held her lips, he kissed he soft
He left her heart so high aloft
With the being he left for hell
For him in heaven, toll did the bell
He took her place, he paid her price
He made a final sacrifice
Copyright ©
forever_lonely
... [
2004-02-26 20:56:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Final Sacrifice
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remy on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 08:58:55 PM AEST
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Peculiar, intuiging, heck of a story write! I love the imagery in this. Great writing!! ;0)
~Remy~ |
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Re: Final Sacrifice
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 09:09:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Once again you have painted a masterpeice with your pen. From beginning to end a work of art.
Very well done ;o)
Larry |
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Re: Final Sacrifice
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 09:19:23 PM AEST
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Wow...great work!!!!
Jenni |
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Re: Final Sacrifice
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 09:32:32 PM AEST
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| oh this tears me up, beautiful though... *sniff sniff* hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Final Sacrifice
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 10:34:01 PM AEST
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| A different kind of write and one of a kind. You have a unique way of writing and have are so gifted. Kie |
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Re: Final Sacrifice
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 02:52:37 AM AEST
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| An awesome write, yet again ... love the story ... and the ending ... well done! ... Jan |
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Re: Final Sacrifice
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 07:06:16 AM AEST
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OHHHH!!!! Luke, this caught me off guard. The blissful beginning, the darkness thereafter, and the incredible finale--this played out like a Shakespearean play. Finally, someone after my own heart who loves contrast in writing.
Conversly, I feel the need to mention your continued excellence in your rhymes and overall fluidity. You just keep getting better all the time.
Truly,
-V.S. |
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Re: Final Sacrifice
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Monday, 1st March 2004 @ 11:57:49 AM AEST
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yet again you wow me lol that tells a really great story and its really sad :(
beautifuly written. good work by a very talented poet.
Arden |
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