|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
I'M A MURDERER
Contributed by
lovingcritters
on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 03:50:34 AM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
I have to admit, my left leg didn't swell.
My right leg, without the hose, full keg!
It's the decisions that kill you, or propel.
Crawled into bed with one hosed leg!
"This has to be more simple
than pulling them on?
WRONG......Thigh elastic is stuck, doggone!!
Out of bed, leg extended, pull hard
toward floor...
Gravity is tricky, release, and I hit the door!
"ShhhhhMontie is sleeping I tell Toastie
He will never view me again with
stuck hosiery!"
Talking to my faithful little critter,
like I always do.
"I can't awaken Montie, you're a dog,
but I value you!"
"Here Toastie can you take this end,
it's "PullToy" time!"
She cocks her head, playtime on the bed?
nightime?
"Come on girl latch on, pull with all your might
Her expression, said it all.....
"That's one of your nylons, are you sure
it's all right?"
Winnie ascends from under the bed
when "PullToy" said,"
"Come on Winnie dear, have no fear,
without dread!"
Winnie grabbed the elastic top,
Toastie did too!
I anchored myself against the door, to pursue
My back was turned, pulling................
the stocking stretching..........................
The immense strength of my critters,
heel cleaving!
Plastic tops have a way of tearing,
when pulled by dogs.
Unbeknownst to me, the tensions are
released, unclogs!!!
Winnie bangs the window, surprised
Toastie let loose.
Unexpected by me, direction? produces
unloose Vamoose!
In one split second I relived my short life
before my very eyes!
Thrown into the bathroom, straight.......
as the crow flies!
After examining the damage, hip, leg, neck,
still in place.
Surely the hose has been stripped
from firm embrace?
I switch on the light, it's attached,
shredded end in the bedroom.
Montie didn't even stop snoring, he's deaf
to any Big Boom!
I'm in shock, a lot, and just wanted to cry.
But, that would bring Montie, and he
needs his shuteye!
That does it!!!!!!!!! Never again will I be so
humiliated by hose!
Limping quietly I grab the
Kitchen Shears, dispose!!!!
Ravagely, cutting, tearing, laughing,
I'm insane with glee!!!!
My psychotic tendencies emerge, "You dirty
hose, you, tried to kill me!"
"Leg Hose Free" giving the pieces
to the dogs, condemn!
They back up scared to death, poor dears,
I think they thought those hose kicked them!
Afterthought? "A blood clot may bloody well
get me...........
But when I'm buried, I'm goin' hose free!"
Created by
Cheri Cam LeBren
February 26, 2004
"Shredded Smiles!"
"Angels can fly because
they take themselves lightly!"
Balzac
Copyright ©
lovingcritters
... [
2004-02-27 03:50:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: I'M A MURDERER
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 04:12:35 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow, friend this is good. Havn't read the rest yet.
Very creative work.
luv, huggs,
emy |
|
|
Re: I'M A MURDERER
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 06:53:27 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Deeply attached to your pets.a wonderful scene of bed room with your critters welldone my friend. venkat |
|
|
Re: I'M A MURDERER
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wesley_Dale_Willis on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 08:14:12 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I was on the edge of my seat all the way through. Good write keep them coming. Read one of mine please. Wes/... |
|
|
Re: I'M A MURDERER
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 08:19:25 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I get to laughing and I cannot stop! Death to all support hose! It also brings memories to mind. I was in the hospital once after having a motorcycle accident and for like two days they put them on my legs. They were white and my toes stuck out the end. It took two nurses to tug them on. They were white and hideous!
*Stabs support hose screaming die, die, die*
I could see your dogs tugging, and this poem just made me laugh harder than what I have in a long time. Women have it rough, I tell ya.... Kie |
|
|
Re: I'M A MURDERER
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 09:55:39 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very cute left me in stiches!
LOL! Put those hose to rest! Rest in peace! Christina |
|
|
Re: I'M A MURDERER
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 11:47:20 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hilarious! I can just picture this. I have so been there in different situations! LOL! Love it!
Stitch |
|
|
Re: I'M A MURDERER
(User Rating: 1 )
by positivelypurple on
Monday, 1st March 2004 @ 02:32:43 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Hilarious! |
|
|
Re: I'M A MURDERER
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 1st March 2004 @ 08:32:27 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
brilliant
wildejohnny. |
|
|
Re: I'M A MURDERER
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on
Friday, 5th March 2004 @ 11:11:38 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Critters, this was hilarius. I loved it!!!! Ya put a smile on me face. *S* Cynthia Dang hosiers eh? |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
