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surviving the pain

Contributed by desire on Sunday, 29th February 2004 @ 11:28:52 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



you were a prince charming and i had the biggest crush,
but being the young virgin i was i wasnt in a rush.
for all the adult things you seemed ready to do,
all the experiences that you were use to.
but never not even in my nightmares could i see,
that you would be the one who would violently hurt me.
i was in shock thinking could this be happeing whats going on,
someone was holding me down, someone way to strong.
but much to my disgust it was you,
taking what you thought was your due.
pain ripping through me like nothing i ever felt in my life,
felt like i was being cut with a knife.
my pleas oh no, stop, dont do this to me fell, on deaf ears
i was being raped one of my worst fears,
someone i know! how could it be,
why is God letting this happen to me,
to scared and too ashamed to tell another soul,
about he violent way my innocence was stole.
soaking in hot water trying to wash it away,
but he unbearable pain, seemed here to stay.
i was humiliated and shame about what he had done,
that night would be a secret and i told no one.
but i couldnt get it out of my head it haunted me so.
i played it over and over cos i wanted to know
did i lead him on in any kind of way,
did i hint about sex in unknowingly way
becos of it i cant bring myself to lay and cuddle in a mans arms,
i just let my body give way to his charms.
i try so hard to relax and push it away,
but the reality is i cant for get about that day,
and as hard as i try the image will never go away.
i forfited love, to help me through the pain,
but a unfeeling heart is all i gained
why did it have to be this way, i will never unerstand
that trial was one i wish wasnt planned.
becos its not for us to understand but to accept it, and learn and grow,
and i pray i never have to go through that anymo
but im here i survived and im glad to be,
he took my innonce not my sanity.
im stronger and wiser and more cautious i must say,
but im not letting my life be consumed by that day.
im ready to open my heart to give and recieve love,
and i know its becos of God above.
i wouldnt change one thing about my life, i have no regrets not one,
life is about moving forward you cant undo whats already done.
and with that in mind i can say,
im starting out fresh with a brand new day








Copyright © desire ... [ 2004-02-29 11:28:52]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: surviving the pain (User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on Sunday, 29th February 2004 @ 12:03:50 PM AEST
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STRONG!!!
Very strong.
I am not sure what to say, except that you are a strong person. You have endured a lot of pain and holding it in has been hard to do.
Sounds like you have decided to put the pain away and move on with your life. I wish you the best with life, love and friendship. Keep writing your poetry and happiness is only a heartbeat away. Contact me anytime. I love your poems!!!
waynster


Re: surviving the pain (User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on Sunday, 29th February 2004 @ 03:49:35 PM AEST
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A very heartbreaking poem, it is a pity that there are some in this world who for take it upon them selves to steal something that can't be replaced, I am glad that you have a strong heart, and have not gone the way of some of my friends who lost the battle.
Keep your faith for it has obvisously helped you in some way, Life does suck in alot of different ways, but you have found a way to overcome through a strong will and with a talent for writing.
I life gets better for you from here on in, for you sound like a person who deserves something better than what has been sorely taken from you.
Please take care.


Re: surviving the pain (User Rating: 1 )
by uchendu on Thursday, 4th March 2004 @ 12:36:00 PM AEST
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I am not gonna pity u cause u deserve no pity from me DESIRE, why pity u when I know that if you weren't once a WOMAN OF PAIN probably we would have missed u on here in this global family. What u deserve from me is an award for having the heart and courage to move on only to become an inspiration to countless others, like me! When I read ur words, I feel like i am being cautioned from doing certain things that one would ordinarily have moved into.. this poem goes to all that have an uncontrollable craving for vanity.. it is a moral instruction to me.. and as I can read from my fellow fans of urs like Waynster.. you have truly passed through a life, but it makes me happier that you subtly allowed life pass through you. That pictures u.. u must be a poet of peace.. keep up ur peace.. no pity for a lesson well learnt.. or for a life well lived. The poem is emotional.. and i can't help being so! However, u have showed us that we can start out life with a brand new day.




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