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my first kiss
Contributed by
desire
on
Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 12:45:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
eyes closed
emotions intense
lips meet
mouth opens
tongue invades
and accepted
response
lingers
lips part
and meet again
flush of feeling
lips meet
smack
smack
lips part
tongue invades
and accepted
response
of mmmmmmm
tongue draws back
another invades
the others mouth
it is accepted
and a response
lips part
lips smack
and smack and
smack
eyes still closed
rockets
stars
fireworks
my very first kiss
and it was even
better than my
dreams
a small wave
of heat flushes
through me
and my eyes
open and we part
he leans in
kisses my forehead
and steps back
and steps in to
hug me
and whisper
that was nice
really
nice
i smile
and whisper
yes it was
Copyright ©
desire
... [
2004-03-02 12:45:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: my first kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remy on
Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 03:07:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Ooo La La, WOW, this is HOT!! okay, i'm done, good writing!! oh yea... MWA!! egh, okay, maybe i shouldn't kiss a computer monitor... lol!!
~Remy~ |
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Re: my first kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by desireemiote on
Tuesday, 2nd March 2004 @ 07:32:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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ok i made a comment about trying freeverse on one of your other poems. this is what i mean. it works well. dont you like the freedom of this better?
-sushi |
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Re: my first kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by uchendu on
Thursday, 4th March 2004 @ 12:25:53 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| This is one of the most wonderful free verses you have written friend... I have said before u are blessings to this site and u will love it... here the motive is simple as always portrayed in your tittle, but the effect it creates in the mind through ur words goes beyond a first kiss... it was an emition-laddened kiss, done with honesty. It's a kiss alright as I can see... but what makes it a first kiss more is that it is a kiss you can never replay again.. guess you did it for the sake of feeling and growing... this poem has good imagery and a very wonderful line pattern, the piece has a very tiny facade... but its lenght is as long as the period when the deed was done. Every body has a first, I had a first too... but I must say u have immortalised your first in this poem. It's lovely, I love it and I know your other fans will too. |
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