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Beneath
Contributed by
hope
on
Sunday, 7th March 2004 @ 04:01:08 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Drowning, drowning
Among her tears
The ones that build up after all these years
Suffocating, suffocating
Beneath her skin
The cries she held so deep within
Crushing, crushing
Her hopes and dreams
All her confidence disappears it seems
Through all the noise no one seemed to hear
She stood all alone, just her and her fears
No one could see past the perfect picture
Of the little girl so sad and inflicted
She puts up her walls and closes herself in
She makes a pact never to let anyone in
That is where she will find herself safe
With her secret locked firmly in place
She often wished you heard her cry
Or saw the pain that filled her inside
Or maybe even took her hand
And rescued her from this awful land
Copyright ©
hope
... [
2004-03-07 04:01:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Beneath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Sunday, 7th March 2004 @ 10:03:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is interesting. You have begun to paint a portrait of her loneliness under the perfect facade. I would show her more and tell the reader a little less.
Stitch |
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Re: Beneath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 12th March 2004 @ 03:16:46 PM AEST
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Beautiful piece. It must feel pretty bad sometimes. Keep strong, Hope.
Andrew |
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Re: Beneath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 11:19:41 PM AEST
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Hey Hope, take care. Be strong!
David |
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