|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
Heaven
Contributed by
doug
on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 03:18:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
i wake from the dream to the bluest sky i've ever seen i stand and look around and see a thousand dreaming beings i don't know where to go but then i hear a voice i know where are we i ask silly boy we are at home i turn to see a man and where is home i then demand he beckons me to follow come with me you'll understand it seems we walk for days through the dreaming body maze i trip on a sleepers head bloody hell my friend exclaims i'm sorry i said aghast he smiles at me and then he laughs don't worry you cannot wake them not untill their dream has passed so along the path we stride a thousand flowers on each side a cool breeze blows i stop annoyed and ask my guide where we going friend he laughed aloud and then he said we wont be long now our destinations just ahead and so we travel on unto a cabin by a pond a man sits on the porch his cloths are white, his beard is long he gets up from his chair and hugs me as i'm standing there i don't know what to say he looks at me without a care then he laughs aloud pats my back and sits back down a voice from above calls my name , i look around on the roofs a man he has a hammer in his hand he ask me how i'm doing i had a terrible dream i said ---------------------------------------------------------- i hope you understood the poem but if not then the old man on the porch was God and the carpenter on the roof was of course Jesus. thanks for reading , your friend doug
Copyright ©
doug
... [
2004-03-09 15:18:54] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 ) by deathdrop on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 03:25:43 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
i see you put much effort into this as your rhyming is excellent! it's not really the kind of poem that like, but i think it's ok, all the same.
deathdrop. |
|
|
Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 03:27:28 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
interesting and clever. good work i really enjoyed it.
Arden |
|
|
Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 04:38:57 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
very creative, hugs n' love nessa |
|
|
Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 ) by Stitch on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 04:43:50 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Doug,
Arden suggested I check out your poetry, and I am so glad I did. This was wonderful. Delightful. I especially love the ending. I picture home somewhat that way, too. You have made me smile.
Stitch |
|
|
Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 ) by Putteragain on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 05:28:33 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this is superb doug my new favorite thanks
michelle |
|
|
Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 ) by Cynthia on
Monday, 22nd March 2004 @ 11:52:48 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I had the image in my head. I catch on quick without reading the comment at the end. LOL Great write. *S* Cynthia |
|
|
Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 ) by True on
Friday, 21st July 2006 @ 10:29:33 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Interesting. I take it the friend is an angel. "Bloody Hell" isn't something I'd expect an angel to say. Altogether an interesting idea. "If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended, that you have but slumbered here, whilst these visions did appear." Shakespeare |
|
|
|