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Miles Between
Contributed by
EternitysLyre
on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 04:00:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
SecretLove
|
Shes no one special in my mind
Yet none can wrench my heart
I dreamt that if we once should kiss
Then that will be the start
Theres nothing about her looks I like
Yet still my eyes are glued
That fragrant trail of midnight hair
Her eyes in mine imbued
Its almost like a fairy tale
The glass opaque and fog so clear
Youd think I wouldnt look so pale
Id known her for eleven years
A voice resonant in my soul
Just speaking lifts my spirits
I cant explain what takes its toll
In melody-less lyrics
A face so young, a mind ahead
The child remains where wisdom fled
I know her ways, she knows my thoughts
Her eyes reveal my sole distraught
Shes no one special in my mind
Shes always spotlight all the time
As mild toddlers we did start
And none so easily wrench my heart
To hear her smile would mend amiss
So few can sing my heart apart
I once did dream, if we did kiss
Wed still be miles apart
Copyright ©
EternitysLyre
... [
2004-03-09 16:00:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Miles Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 04:07:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I didn't find this sappy at all. I found it romantic and loving, with a touch of yearning. I like this style of writing the best by you. There is emotion and feeling in it and I thought it was excellent. Kie |
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Re: Miles Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 04:11:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Impressed would be a laughable understatement for me to say right here. Honestly, I didn't see something like this coming from you, but you have done an exceptional job here. Emotions of this nature carry much more impact when embedded in a work of perfect rhythm and heartfelt words.
Truly,
-V.S. |
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Re: Miles Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 04:29:05 PM AEST
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Sappy? If you say so - lol - but charming nontheless.
"The child remains where wisdom fled"
Eloquent and picturesque.
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Re: Miles Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remy on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 04:58:21 PM AEST
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*grin* expression? ooo boy, trust me - you don't need the practice! this is beautiful! ;0)
~Remy~ |
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Re: Miles Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by Putteragain on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 05:06:58 PM AEST
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yes kie said it perfectly this was just romantic and made me want to be her which poetry should do pull you right in so bravo to you
michelle |
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Re: Miles Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 09:34:49 PM AEST
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Sappy...lol....I think it's one of your very best. Simple, honest and unassuming. Words from your heart, not your mind ;o)
Very well done
Larry
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Re: Miles Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 02:56:32 AM AEST
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| You have practiced well, then, because this is one of your best poems ... sometimes a simpler write packs more of a punch - your R&R is perfect, your emotion is heartfelt ... I enjoyed this read very much ... an excellent write ... Jan |
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Re: Miles Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by twinkletoes on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 06:02:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Works for me!
tt. |
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