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The Great Race
Contributed by
LiquidChaos
on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 08:45:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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I feel once more The burn of threatened tears Brought upon by This chill of sullen fear In search for an exit The hope of sweet escape I find only darkness As my fate begins to fade I have lost all sense Of passive inspiration My last of all companions A lingering relation To feel it all again The rush of happiness Impossible to still return Ignorance lost in chance And so with humble silence Progression falters and halts But arrogence remains To highlight still my faults I run ever faster To escape sweet inner death Stamina evaporates I can no longer catch my breath Obstructive memories of time with you Continue till my anger is gone I feel myself begin to fade Suffocating, I run on Numbness catches up with me As I run faster still Hope I've lost along the way Help me escape this sullen chill.
Copyright ©
LiquidChaos
... [
2004-03-09 20:45:56] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Great Race
(User Rating: 1 ) by New_York_Chick on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 09:53:50 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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interesting poem |
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Re: The Great Race
(User Rating: 1 ) by Stitch on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 10:33:18 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I think what you've got here is a very good beginning. There's a lot of potential, feelings that others can relate to, and some well-chosen words. Look for places you can tighten or where you maybe weren't quite clear or rambled. Keep writing.
Stitch |
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Re: The Great Race
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 10:41:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I loved it. Just wonderful. I loved every word. Well done.
Arden
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Re: The Great Race
(User Rating: 0 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 10:28:41 AM AEST (User
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Hey addie, i think you're an amazing writer, and an awesome friend too. I love The Great Race, and i know someday you will find the end. LIfe is tough, but there is hope. Love you always, Ashley |
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