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Striptease
Contributed by
Hurretje
on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 03:25:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
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As I watch you You show off Your dark features covered in shining jewels Dancing so slowly Sensual glancing And myriad winks As to expose your deepest secrets You most intimate virtues Your hiddent treasures You reveal more and more In this never ending striptease Layer after layer You make my craving grow Tormenting Aching Begging But never will I see Who you really are Behind the stars
Copyright ©
Hurretje
... [
2004-04-05 03:25:23] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 03:28:05 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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yeah i'll go for sensual but would have preffered indecent!. nice write.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by loveisendless on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 03:41:40 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE! MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BETTER!!
COOL POEM!!!
DAN!!!! |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 04:03:50 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very good !
Very intense!
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by Avarice_Riot on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 04:04:02 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Definitely sensual, and I liked the twist at the end. Great write as usual. |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by silent on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 05:53:20 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Nice one :) Nothing wrong with a little indecency, lol
Silent |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rakerman1999 on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 08:32:49 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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The best writes are those that let the imagination do the work, as this one did.
Very well done
Larry |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by shelby on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 09:01:44 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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well done
michelle |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by mountainhigh on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 11:22:28 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Good write, and a great thought, know not the package by the wrapping.
Thanks for sharing. |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 06:58:18 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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nicely done. i really like this. keep it up.
Arden |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by venkat on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 06:43:28 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I agree with Rakerman. I feel there is no indecency. but for the painting of sensual beauty..welldone. venkat |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by JennyFruFru on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 09:20:28 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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you definatly painted a very mysterious image.... nice work... :) |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by Thivanka on
Friday, 16th April 2004 @ 07:31:27 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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GREAT! a good mood stabilizer, I liked this one.
-Thivanka |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 01:24:33 PM AEST (User
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it all seems like you are writing about what your experiencing until the ending; which makes it seem dreamlike.... wonderful poem:) hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 ) by AEWorricker on
Monday, 23rd August 2010 @ 04:26:18 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Great write - love "myriad winks" |
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