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The Road To Our Future
Contributed by
lizabeth283
on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 02:07:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Our journey began
A bit rocky at first
But then our love grew
Though now it seems cursed
We used to talk
For hours on end
But now we just leave
Our own hearts to mend
So how do we get
Off this downhill slope
Could it be
Were at the end of our rope
I feel so alone
Without you be my side
All that I want
Is with you to abide
But the time has come
Theres a fork in the road
To the left or the right
Which way will we go
Copyright ©
lizabeth283
... [
2004-04-06 14:07:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Road To Our Future
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jellybellyprincess on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 02:13:08 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Oh, this is lovely.... well spoken (not too many over used terms, which is great for reading)
Over all a magnificent write.
The only little flaw (which is probably just me nit picking) is the flow of "the end of our rope".
Maybe you could try---
So how do we get
Off this downhill slope
Could it be We’re at
the end of our long-spun rope
(or)
romantic rope?
Something or other, I'm just rambling =)
I really enjoyed reading this poem-- very eloquent.
Kudos =)
God bless,
Ellen |
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