|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
godless white
Contributed by
valek
on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 09:57:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
psychoticpoems
|
my eyes are white from your christian cataracts
im not blind and you think im the maniac
your empty but you always open your mouth
think your going north, while your really going south
cant understand the thoughts protruding from your head
and you cant understand why god sees you dead
why is it whenever you do christs will
true spirits you will kill
you think i am the evil one
yet you have stopped and i'm still not done
think im godless, doing the devils work
we'll see who the real one is, in sin to lurk
Copyright ©
valek
... [
2004-04-06 21:57:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: godless white
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 29th April 2004 @ 04:17:35 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Some nice twists in there, although the ending was a little weak as you tried to hit the rhyme. That's ok, however, as the rest of the images in total more than make up for this.
I would have wrote for that;
"We'll see who's from sin's blackened murk"
Just a thought.
Well done, anyway, and I'll be reading more of your stuff on the roundabout.
Keep writing. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Site Help
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
