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Oppressed...

Contributed by Three on Wednesday, 25th September 2002 @ 08:00:00 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Awake.
Near is Death, I feel her
Ire hatred; touch.
Dreaming.
Extended escape, hidden from reality
Until dusk; the Moon bleeds.
Fantasizing.
Without flaws, You love
Me. Pushed away; affectless.
Dead.

Copyright © Three ... [ 2002-09-25 20:00:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Oppressed... (User Rating: 1 )
by WordPoet on Thursday, 26th September 2002 @ 05:34:23 AM AEST
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Be critical.... Ok hmmm.... Good flavour, the descriptive words are very colourful but the subjective matter leaves a bit to be desired. Perhaps if the subject of all these descriptive words were made more clear the reader could better assosiate themselves to the poem. Otherwise good job. Keep up the effort I liked it anyway.

Re: Oppressed... (User Rating: 1 )
by Three on Thursday, 26th September 2002 @ 06:24:14 AM AEST
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Yea, thanks for the feed back.. I couldn't really think of a title for this poem other than oppressed.. check out my new one-the title suits it ; ) False Love

Re: Oppressed... (User Rating: 1 )
by viola on Thursday, 26th September 2002 @ 08:43:31 PM AEST
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i don't hold love in high regard, so I enjoy a bit of anger associated with it. I like how simple this is.

Re: Oppressed... (User Rating: 1 )
by Jule on Tuesday, 17th December 2002 @ 05:37:02 PM AEST
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critical? okay. well you need to add bit more imagination. the mix of anger and love is good.

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