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headspace explained
Contributed by
Cancer
on
Monday, 12th April 2004 @ 11:58:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
the rain stained her skin
like blood
like accusations
but it was the stain on her soul
that burned the most
she fled into the night
she fled into the rain
drenched in their blood
driven by voiceless accusations
and even after they died
even when she was alone in the woods
she could still hear their screams
(it's all headspace)
wandering through the forest
the rain still pouring down
she whispered her secret deeds
to the silent trees
and begged for forgiveness
from those who weren't there
inside it felt so hollow
as her mind reeled with psychosis
and waltzed with vertigo
a million colors painted her world
but they all looked like blood to her
(it's all headspace)
long after her mind let go
she began to claw at the earth
as if to exhume the corpses
that she had left behind
she crawled into the watery hole
and drug the fresh wet earth in to cover her
her head still exposed
the rain still falling
she screamed and screamed and screamed
(it's all headspace)
everything turned to peace inside
(letting go)
the hollow filled with a warm air
that tasted like spring
and smelled like pleasant memories
(letting go)
and though her eyes rolled back
and her head lolled to and fro
inside her mind
she ran gaily through a sunny meadow
young and careless and free
(letting go)
the spirits circled her half-buried body
staring down
not with anger or hatred or even betrayal
but with a sadness that the dead should never know
and in her meadow
it all went white for just a moment
and everything felt cold
as the spirits drew the breath from her
and left her
alone
in her grave
it's over for her now
she's back in the meadow
with no memory of anything else
just picking flowers
and chasing the sun
and running with her bloody friends
(it's all deadspace)
Copyright ©
Cancer
... [
2004-04-12 23:58:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: headspace explained
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 12:07:42 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Whoa . . . every time, I think you've gotten as good as you can get, and every time, you outdo yourself again. But I don't think even you would ever be able to outdo this. It's about as good as they get and I'm left stunned, awed, and juuust a bit jealous. Okay, more than just a bit . . . but yeah. Some of the phrases . . . damn. Like
"a million colors painted her world
but they all looked like blood to her"
and
"the spirits circled her half-buried body
staring down
not with anger or hatred or even betrayal
but with a sadness that the dead should never know"
So trademark you . . . the epitome of your writing. UFYPMOTGF, and meant sincerely. Now I'm going to sulk enviously in the corner, I think.
--Nora |
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Re: headspace explained
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 12:11:56 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Very creative, unique write.
Awesome work.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: headspace explained
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 01:09:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Nicely done
Whisper |
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Re: headspace explained
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Friday, 16th April 2004 @ 12:47:04 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
my oh my man I don't know what to say except I think this is one of yer best and loved the images of the girl running through the field and she screaming with her head exposed amazing dude you must send me the track... so 'props to ya dawg'
Bobo (Joel) |
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