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Maybe
Contributed by
Remy
on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 04:13:13 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
and now i'm feeling useless
let me write this down
i'll stuff it in a letter
another day it will be found
for now i can keep too busy
with this life i've made
and the pain can be forgotten
under the sun of another day
as the pictures are growing faded
i can take them down to memory
even collect all those love letters
keep them out for a sight to see
the vastness of these mementos
you know that i keep them all
it reminds me of something better
keeps me upright and standing tall
do i care enough to pass this way?
shall i wait right here in my mistakes?
another stupid hope for what i hate?
just take my chances on one day today?
maybe...
the day is running on forever
that's how it always seems
right as i'm running with it
daytime fares as such a tease
the taunting air cuts so swiftly
the landscape closes in behind
the time passes even slower now
the remainder is left to sunlight
night time drones for many ages
filled with all of my breakdowns
scatterbrained in each wording
fighting the atmosphere around
you can bet it upon the problems
i'll bet you're right...
but that's besides the point now
i just want to survive tonight
do i care enough to pass this way?
shall i wait right here in my mistakes?
another stupid hope for what i hate?
just take my chances on one day today?
maybe...
the floor seems so inviting
to gaze out at ceiling strobes
i forget just why i'm fighting
to live another day in hope
should i care enough to pass this way?
why do i wait right here in my mistakes?
another whimful hope for what i'll hate?
just take another chance on one more day?
maybe...
Copyright ©
Remy
... [
2004-04-13 16:13:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 05:23:02 PM AEST
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Great write, Remy. I love this line - 'why do i wait right here in my mistakes?" I wonder why we stay in the pain waiting. Hopefulness I guess thinking maybe we can fix our mistakes? We are human, who can ever figure us our.
Rita |
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 05:50:58 PM AEST
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Beautiful write... though kinda sad
there's always hope in a new day.....
what matters is how much you want it
look on the bright side, strive for it!! ;)
Dani
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by Funny_Pants on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 05:58:34 PM AEST
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| I can relate to a good poem of personal strife. This is good. Keep on truckin' |
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 06:23:22 PM AEST
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Deep and touching.... very powerful write..
Jenni |
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 09:40:29 PM AEST
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| Remy, you really do know how to make a girl's heart flutter. *blushes* I loved this. Excellent, just excellent. Keep penning. *S* Cynthia |
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by AnGeL_M on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 10:03:00 PM AEST
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Remy I Like This Alot...From Begining To The Very End......
Deep And Very Touching..Excellect Write....Keep Em Coming
*********LoVe**AnGeL**********
**********************************
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Thursday, 15th April 2004 @ 12:05:29 PM AEST
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| very sad, but also very touching and beautiful. a great write. keep it up. *hugs* phil xxx |
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by Justalady on
Thursday, 15th April 2004 @ 03:46:43 PM AEST
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| Well strong writing .... yet weakness wanting to show through. Of course, Maybe you just take that chance, in fact.... not maybe, just do it. Nice writing. June |
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 18th April 2004 @ 02:04:31 AM AEST
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| Quite and interesting read--I really liked the way it flowed; there's a persuasive style to emotion of this. |
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Sunday, 18th April 2004 @ 02:21:47 PM AEST
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I have to agree that this was a nice poem. I can also relate to one day going on into forever.
Enjoyed this one.
Kie |
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 03:43:38 AM AEST
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| mmmmmmm i like this one........daytime fares as such a tease....i love that line....... |
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by bernard on
Sunday, 2nd May 2004 @ 01:48:10 AM AEST
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Not many can play the waiting game for it needs a whole bunch of patience. Great poem I enjoyed reading every single word.
bernard. |
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Re: Maybe
(User Rating: 1 )
by apollo on
Friday, 7th May 2004 @ 12:08:03 PM AEST
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| that was excellant, the use of words was amazing. wonderful write. well put. |
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