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Sleeper
Contributed by
Avarice_Riot
on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 04:58:33 AM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
Sink like you just made love to gravity
There's room enough for submerged souls here
In this vast sea of sleeping dreams
Where all that's said and done is kept subdued
And the impatience to rise gives perfume to the air
Fear not the suppression that's put on your desires
Our time will come to kiss liberty
A time when inhibition and others' control play no role
Where weight will have to release its hold
And make space for us to be reborn as
A morning of waking dreams.
Copyright ©
Avarice_Riot
... [
2004-04-14 04:58:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 05:02:11 AM AEST
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| Thats deep, unique write with words played forth so well. Great write. |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by reilt on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 05:16:20 AM AEST
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| beautifully written...i especially love the last line...excellent write |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by faithmairee on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 05:58:57 AM AEST
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i liked everything about this great poem...excellent job! You outdid yourself on this one. Bravo!
faith |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 06:33:54 AM AEST
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Now this is poetry at its finest. From the opening line I was smitten.
"Sink like you just made love to gravity"
Does it get any better than that poetically speaking?
I don't think so.
A masterpiece!
Kie |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 07:31:50 AM AEST
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Wow! best thing I've read on this site in weeks.What a strong poem of patient liberation. Poignent, beautiful simile and imagery. Well written.
Spike |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by bernard on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 07:43:49 AM AEST
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Sleeper what an apt title for your poem. well done.
bernard |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 08:14:00 AM AEST
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That sinking feeling. Love this. So well said.
Stitch |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chade on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 08:54:01 AM AEST
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thats a really atmospheric poem, its really nice.
Chade |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by n2dep2care on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 09:36:37 AM AEST
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Wow, makes me want to rise up and revolt!
"Fear not the suppression that's put on your desires
Our time will come to kiss liberty
A time when inhibition and others' control play no role
Where weight will have to release its hold"
Waiting for this day to come- when we can all be free to love who we want! Amazing write!
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 12:05:16 PM AEST
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You wove your tapestry well here. Yes, the cloak is eventually taken away and freedom comes. It is how that freedom is used that is the hardest part. Takes wisdom to use the freedom wisely for your good. This is an excellent piece of work here. Probably one of your best, I think.
Rita |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 12:13:11 PM AEST
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this is absolutely beautifully written, puts your reader in that dreamy place, tugs at the soul..... hugs n' love nessa
@->>->- |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 12:21:40 PM AEST
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I absolutely love this!! Such hope and strength. Standing ovation!! BRAVO!
Roses at your feet for this one my friend
Larry |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Wednesday, 14th April 2004 @ 02:07:01 PM AEST
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Amazing poem! Brilliant imagery! Loved it! Very well written. The ending is great wraps everything together.
Anne :D |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Thursday, 15th April 2004 @ 09:34:40 AM AEST
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| very deep and beautifully written. i love your poems. i adore the first line. perfect, another amazing write. *hugs* phil xxx |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hurretje on
Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 03:30:57 AM AEST
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Wonderful poem, it's so sweet and powerful at the same time.
Hugs,
Hur |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by Baronhawk on
Friday, 30th April 2004 @ 10:55:29 AM AEST
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| "The sleeper awakens" (from the computer game 'Gothic') indeed...how delicately you have penned the desires and refrains to those whose times has put down... how lilting is the rhyme in describing the hearts that are awaiting a "morning of waking dreams". I can attest for I am one I guess who still awaits the ends of suppression and dreams of waking up. Nice write herein. |
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Re: Sleeper
(User Rating: 1 )
by wray on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 10:05:10 AM AEST
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| Unusual, very refreshing (in a suppressing kind of way). I suppose I don't fully understand because I've never really felt suppressed but the way you described the whole experience was captivating nonetheless. A morning of waking dreams! |
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