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An Elicit Destiny
Contributed by
tld78732
on
Tuesday, 1st October 2002 @ 08:45:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
The kiss of destiny brushed my cheek
I opened my eyes and caught a glimpse of the silhouette
left by the mate of my preincarnate soul
lingering amidst the lace and light of the predawn mist
Eternity is suspended in that brief encounter
as the fluid, timeless dawn grips the day
Its ethereal presence softens the guardians of intuition
and reason wanes while the heart strains its cage
Alas, the heart rejects the treasure of the empiric forge
embracing rather the dross of its refinement
Which in its cooling takes a course mishapen form
that chafes the heart and abrades the soul
But then, a clinging hope, desperate to endure
rekindles the flame of passion and crushes the lump
which chokes the throat and threatens the soul
educing a cherished crystal from the cursed core
...Which in its cooling takes a smooth luminescent form
that lights the heart and abraids the soul
Copyright ©
tld78732
... [
2002-10-01 08:45:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: An Elicit Destiny
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lia on
Tuesday, 1st October 2002 @ 12:36:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| For a first attempt you sure hit it right on the nail!! Awesome job this is soooooo good! |
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Re: An Elicit Destiny
(User Rating: 1 )
by tld78732 on
Tuesday, 1st October 2002 @ 01:29:37 PM AEST
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| Thanks Lia, It's a little scary for me to put my heart out there like this. But your encouragement is a big help - TLD |
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Re: An Elicit Destiny
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Thursday, 3rd October 2002 @ 02:47:58 AM AEST
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Thank you, Tim, for your comment. Welcome to YPDC. If this is your first attempt, I'm gonna resign soon...:>) Great work!! I'm looking forward to reading more soon.
Jenni |
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Re: An Elicit Destiny
(User Rating: 1 )
by tld78732 on
Thursday, 3rd October 2002 @ 05:24:14 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Jenni, Please don't resign! I've been reading your work and enjoy it very much. This was my first attempt and maybe my last. Strangely, I found it, emotionally draining. It was as though I needed to write this and couldn't rest until I had. And then I kept wanting to tweak it until i finally ended up almost where I'd started.
Thanks for your remarks. Any suggestions would be welcome.
Tim |
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