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Divided She Falls
Contributed by
Vitreous_Soul
on
Wednesday, 28th April 2004 @ 07:08:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Yea thy spirit is my breath,
Within thine eyes I long for death,
Thy velvet touch my heart does still,
Thy voice a song of hope to fill,
My soul as if a blessed sea,
And I can love you more than he.
Noble one, so palatine
Silken caress a dream pristine
With thy breath speak flawless rhyme
'Pon honeyed lips, kiss freezes time
My soul as if by God finespun
I love you more than anyone
I bow, a servant at thy heed,
Lay on my back thy yoke of need
I'll brave the dark and depths of hell,
My soul a captive to thy spell,
Immortal love shall then be thine,
Grant me alone thy kiss of wine.
Grant me thy hand, i'll never leave
Your fondest wishes I shall weave
When joined in flight, as one we glide
I'll always be your light to guide
Eternal love you will possess
Onward for thee, my heart shall press
Sharpend tears of indecision,
Cut her heart with such precision,
Compromise could not be made.......
And thus she falls upon her blade
Tender body draws final breath
Decision's made....she chooses death
Copyright ©
Vitreous_Soul
... [
2004-04-28 19:08:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 28th April 2004 @ 07:11:17 PM AEST
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sad, dark hopeful romantic all wrapped into one delightful poem you both did so well with this each word reached to me Im awe struck.......
Michelle |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by LovingWhispers on
Wednesday, 28th April 2004 @ 07:31:31 PM AEST
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| WOW!!! |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Wednesday, 28th April 2004 @ 07:47:43 PM AEST
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Bravo! Bravo!
ENCORE!
You two have done a brilliant job in regards to this collaboration.
Excellent.
Kie |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 28th April 2004 @ 07:58:48 PM AEST
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Whoa, step back Shakesphere! You two take a bow. This is a great collaboration you two have submitted. Keep up the great work. You are amazing.
Rita
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Wednesday, 28th April 2004 @ 08:57:18 PM AEST
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Wow, this is amazing.
* Claps * |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Wednesday, 28th April 2004 @ 09:06:58 PM AEST
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Stupendous & splendidly done!
Just look what I would have missed if I hadn't looked today.
You, Rakerman, and your marvelous poetry....Trio like no other!
Fanatastic is your write
consue |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by Merry on
Wednesday, 28th April 2004 @ 09:39:06 PM AEST
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amazing and beuatiful - music to my ears - gallant lover and fair maiden - sad ending though. A wonderful collaboration!!!! bravo
smiles
merry |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on
Wednesday, 28th April 2004 @ 10:27:44 PM AEST
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WOW, this was by far one of the best collaborations I've ever come across. I knew it would be pure genuious once I saw the names Vitreous_Soul and Rakerman grace my screen. Two of the most amazing poets come together to creat something beyond words... and thats hard to say straight coming from someone who lives for words... Beautiful boys. It was filled with good, bad, happy, sad, smiles, tears and surprises. Love it from the very first word to the very last. Thank you for sharing this masterpiece of minds with all of us.
Lindsey |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 29th April 2004 @ 07:12:58 AM AEST
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Elegant and a success!
You should do this more often . . . |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 29th April 2004 @ 08:30:30 AM AEST
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| Who the hell gave this a 4!? |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 29th April 2004 @ 08:31:22 AM AEST
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| Who the hell gave this a 4!? |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Thursday, 29th April 2004 @ 12:22:30 PM AEST
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| mmmmmm the blade was only ever her real choice..........awesome collaboration from two brilliant artists........ |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 3rd May 2004 @ 08:34:31 AM AEST
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I am reminded of Juliet. Tragic, epic, splendid! My deepest congratulations to you both. You have created something truly exceptional.
Stitch |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Sunday, 9th May 2004 @ 05:27:54 PM AEST
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Oh how the heavens have answered my calls, two of my most favorite poets together in the same write, and what a magnificent piece this is!!
It has a beautiful shakespearian/Nightwish feel behind it that really shows you both in your element,
''I'll brave the dark and depths of hell,
My soul a captive to thy spell,
Immortal love shall then be thine,
Grant me alone thy kiss of wine.''
If ever a line has left me wide eyed and in a land of dreams, this be it my friends.
I shall not comment on the technical side of the poem as only a twit wouldnt be able to see that two of the greatest poets on this site together would mean that the poem is technically sound in every manner.
A glorious write, one of my favorites i have ever read, but then, why am i surprised, when it is you both who were the wizards of this magic
Luke
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by shanarah on
Monday, 10th May 2004 @ 08:50:06 AM AEST
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| WOW.. excellent write on this.. |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Tuesday, 11th May 2004 @ 06:00:41 AM AEST
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| A timeless poem that I have read over and over and will never tire of reading ... filled with such beauty I can barely express my thoughts ... in total awe of this write ... Jan |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Monday, 31st May 2004 @ 01:02:38 PM AEST
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| Is their a happy ending in any of your poems or do you draw your inspiration from sadness? |
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Re: Divided She Falls
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Tuesday, 27th March 2007 @ 07:13:06 AM AEST
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Amazing. I am speechless. This was just amazing. I love the ending. Great job you two.
Take care
Christina |
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