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Jocylen's Depiction
Contributed by
Juliet
on
Tuesday, 4th May 2004 @ 05:48:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
She's standing on the back porch on a summer evening in a clean white blouse
and long blue skirt with printed red flowers.
One foot is leaning against the side of the house,
her hair is neatly done in a bun,
being blown at by the wind.
A freight train in the background.
It is coming towards her and she cannot stop it,
so she graciously accepts defeat and awaits her uncertain destiny.
Copyright ©
Juliet
... [
2004-05-04 17:48:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Jocylen's Depiction
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheSchroedmeister on
Tuesday, 4th May 2004 @ 05:58:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| What a captivating title! It drew me in, and the concept is well-thought. Thank you |
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Re: Jocylen's Depiction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 14th May 2004 @ 02:23:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I like the idea, although I would have liked to have known the artist, or even the name of the piece, so I could give it some point of comparison. When you mention 'One foot is leaning . . .' That line doesn't really work for me, as feet don't really 'lean', as such.
However, I do like the way you used the image of the train to bring the question of a disturbing storyline into play . . .
Interesting write. |
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