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World of Pain's Emptiness
Contributed by
essentially9
on
Wednesday, 12th May 2004 @ 09:19:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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World of Pain's Emptiness My hollowness is filling My feelings are emptying Both unbalance me To where everything Feels like nothing to me And I wish I could feel Other than these feelings Because they're all I've had For my entire life And I want more than that But I deserve less than this I get more than wanted And less of needed Both of these things Take their tolls on me To where I can't see clearly My world is upside down Everything turned around I'm looking up to the ground And standing on air Afraid to move one step with fear And right the world of pain That I feel within And outside of myself I can't stop these feelings They stop me and control me I'm their slave to do as they wish But I fall unwanted to the list I break from hearts wants To the minds needs And I get nothing but grief
Copyright ©
essentially9
... [
2004-05-12 21:19:09] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: World of Pain's Emptiness
(User Rating: 1 ) by ShadowDaughter on
Wednesday, 12th May 2004 @ 09:24:57 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ooooh . . .
Interesting. At first glance, well, don't take this the wrong way, but I thought this poem was another typical, overdone angst-poem. Happily, I was wrong . . .
The part about
"I'm looking up to the ground
And standing on air
Afraid to move one step with fear
And right the world of pain"
was rather well-put. Nicely done.
--Nora |
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Re: World of Pain's Emptiness
(User Rating: 0 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 13th May 2004 @ 07:50:38 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like the play of contrasts in your poem.
It’s very powerful and emotional.
I was drawn and glued till the last stanza. Very
disturbing and stirring, because it hit home a
few times. This one will be read more than once.
Excellent work.
Laurie |
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