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World of Pain's Emptiness
Contributed by
essentially9
on
Wednesday, 12th May 2004 @ 09:19:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
World of Pain's Emptiness
My hollowness is filling
My feelings are emptying
Both unbalance me
To where everything
Feels like nothing to me
And I wish I could feel
Other than these feelings
Because they're all I've had
For my entire life
And I want more than that
But I deserve less than this
I get more than wanted
And less of needed
Both of these things
Take their tolls on me
To where I can't see clearly
My world is upside down
Everything turned around
I'm looking up to the ground
And standing on air
Afraid to move one step with fear
And right the world of pain
That I feel within
And outside of myself
I can't stop these feelings
They stop me and control me
I'm their slave to do as they wish
But I fall unwanted to the list
I break from hearts wants
To the minds needs
And I get nothing but grief
Copyright ©
essentially9
... [
2004-05-12 21:19:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: World of Pain's Emptiness
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Wednesday, 12th May 2004 @ 09:24:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Ooooh . . .
Interesting. At first glance, well, don't take this the wrong way, but I thought this poem was another typical, overdone angst-poem. Happily, I was wrong . . .
The part about
"I'm looking up to the ground
And standing on air
Afraid to move one step with fear
And right the world of pain"
was rather well-put. Nicely done.
--Nora |
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Re: World of Pain's Emptiness
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 13th May 2004 @ 07:50:38 PM AEST
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I like the play of contrasts in your poem.
It’s very powerful and emotional.
I was drawn and glued till the last stanza. Very
disturbing and stirring, because it hit home a
few times. This one will be read more than once.
Excellent work.
Laurie |
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