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DNR
Contributed by
jeanie
on
Sunday, 16th May 2004 @ 12:36:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
DNR
Death smelt so nice
Like vanilla of my ice
I'm like a smoke of cigarette
You turned me on setting me on fire
Then you breathed me deeply in
And choked me out
Before I could suffocate you
I'm on an overdose
And it's impossible to achieve
All I supposed
Getting a sense is a kind of hard
But you lose it like an old part
Which you hate to go on to play
So dry it up and say
Do not resuscitate
Copyright ©
jeanie
... [
2004-05-16 12:36:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: DNR
(User Rating: 1 )
by alecfernadez on
Sunday, 16th May 2004 @ 12:54:28 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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this is an intresting poem, I was drawn by the title DNR, cos thats what I'm putting on my hospital form thing when I turn 18.
Anyway its a fairly good poem, but I have a few porblems with it.
Theres some fairly minor problems with grammer in this
Otherwise its ok, and whoever voted 1 for this poem is basically a *****, I give it 3/5 |
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