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Apostle
Contributed by
01_zanzebar
on
Tuesday, 25th May 2004 @ 01:23:34 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
bright as the brass
silver as the vail
purge my undaunting enemy
burrowed from under my skins
life as a snake
produces nothing than hearts but to break
destroy my foes
dignity, i cant retake
silver shiney things
absent of mind
only to those without one
blistfully unaware of life
as life is to me
passing through it as we do
as pawns of a game
a game with no start or end thats see-able
watching life through one-sided glass
were on the inside, trying to look out
apart from those who are out
who despiratly try to look in
buts its too cloudy
a void
life is
break it
and it will break you
loose you
misplace you
find yourself lost
and die
missing, and presumed normal
thats why im insane
because its the only way you know your sane
because everyone else isnt
in a world that demands perfection
deomotes those who are perfect
as the seekers of the light
we cant even see
why should be long for it
when all we have to say its there
in a land where you cant scream or shout
is the people whom live on the 'surface'
who despiratly look for their perfection
a conunderum
for those, who live on the out
Copyright ©
01_zanzebar
... [
2004-05-25 13:23:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Apostle
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cole on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 10:50:15 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Confusing because of the lack of punctuation. I'm guessing you did this intentionaly because you stated at one point that you were insane. Even so, there are ways of organizing the lines so that it's clear when one thought ends and the other starts. I still enjoyed the thoughts of this poem though.
I'd appreciate if you'd return the favor of critiquing.
Cole |
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