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Just as Bewildered
Contributed by
danimus
on
Thursday, 27th May 2004 @ 10:31:05 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
Sometimes I am locked
Locked inside a box
Some days I never come out
Out of my hell
As often as I'm feeling
Feeling alienated
As much as I think otherwise
Realize we're all the same
There's times I freeze up and pause
Lose my clause
The magnet to my negative mind
And I remember that we're all lost
It makes me feel at ease
To know that people
People next to me
Are just as bewildered
Like myself you past judgement
To give ourselves meaning
But I am left to spend
My time weening you out
Sometimes I make remarks
But now I'm not one to start
Some days I'd blow up at
Whoever paid me any attention
So don't tell me
I'm just like you!
Copyright ©
danimus
... [
2004-05-27 10:31:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Just as Bewildered
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fairy on
Thursday, 27th May 2004 @ 10:46:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I really like your work, Keep your head up and keep up the good writing, you should be please with yourself that you can express your emotions so well..
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Re: Just as Bewildered
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remy on
Thursday, 27th May 2004 @ 01:44:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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strong write, brash and pushing for your way... i like that, it takes you places sometimes... ;0)
~Remy~ |
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Re: Just as Bewildered
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cole on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 08:25:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This was good, but I thought that the ending was just kind of...there. I liked how you'd end one line with a word sometimes and then use the same word to start the next line. I think it played well on your line saying, "There's times I freeze up and pause/Lose my clause".
Well done!
-Cole-
P.S. - If you could read and review one of my poems in return, it'd be much appreciated.
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