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Guilt
Contributed by
darien
on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 08:11:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
When silent
Safe I find myself
Until I look inside
And question
Common moral grounds
And truths that I denied
That sorrow
Breeds a tear or two
Betraying what I feel
Onlookers
Gasping, each in turn
Against their hearts of steel
Copyright ©
darien
... [
2004-05-28 08:11:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Guilt
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 11:10:33 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Ok... per your note... I'll give it a shot, how about:
Onlookers
Gasping, each in turn
Blessed with hearts of steel
I thought it "explains" why the onlookers were gasping.... Hope you don't mind the suggestion. I do like this a lot and absolutely get where you're coming from! Nicely done! |
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