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Can't Stay Here
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 10:46:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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Yesterday is on my front step Rapping on the door Wanting me to step outside Yet I remain unsure
If I could see Tomorrow now Id move on without doubt But the future is lost to me For I have shut it out
In the present tense I linger Though Im unhappy here Moving forward, going back Each one of these I fear
Yesterday keeps on knocking Tomorrow is a tease They keep calling, tugging at me Increasing by degrees
I am hopelessly undecided Listening to their call Dancing on an invisible line Wanting so to fall
Tomorrow cries from the dark Offering only the unknown Yesterday whispers sweetly to me Telling me how Ive grown
Their voices tumble together Making it so unclear I do not know to which Ill go But I know I cant stay here
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2004-05-28 22:46:48] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Can't Stay Here
(User Rating: 1 ) by bttrflynajar on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 11:03:11 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is a really good poem, i enjoyed reading it. it reminds me of the way i felt when i was going through some major changes of my own, it feels like you stuck, dont wanna move back, dont wanna move foward!~BttRFlY |
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Re: Can't Stay Here
(User Rating: 1 ) by UnfallenTears on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 11:06:11 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is one of the best one's I've read so far. I like the symbolism. Really great, don't stop writing.
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Re: Can't Stay Here
(User Rating: 1 ) by Sylvias on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 11:16:07 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like it. It has a good rhythm to it. |
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Re: Can't Stay Here
(User Rating: 1 ) by blueheart on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 11:18:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow, I'm so glad I read this, thanks for sharing. |
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Re: Can't Stay Here
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 29th May 2004 @ 12:31:34 AM AEST (User
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this is great, let go of past and future and just breathe:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Can't Stay Here
(User Rating: 1 ) by Whisper on
Saturday, 29th May 2004 @ 12:54:57 AM AEST (User
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Nice write my heart knows how you feel.
Whisper |
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Re: Can't Stay Here
(User Rating: 1 ) by Vitreous_Soul on
Saturday, 29th May 2004 @ 06:33:38 AM AEST (User
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Fascinating poem. I enjoyed the way you addressed Tomorrow and Yesterday as not only periods in time, but as entities unto themselves. Very creative, you have quite a vivid imagination.
"In the present tense I linger
Though I’m unhappy here
Moving forward, going back
Each one of these I fear"
That particular stanza really spoke to me. Thank you for sharing this sterling effort.
Pummelled by cast stones,
-V.S. |
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Re: Can't Stay Here
(User Rating: 1 ) by holderofthestone on
Saturday, 29th May 2004 @ 02:27:14 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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remember the more we fall the farther we get from the brink! great poem here keep writing ill keep reading! |
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Re: Can't Stay Here
(User Rating: 1 ) by brigitte7735 on
Saturday, 29th May 2004 @ 10:14:38 PM AEST (User
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i really really love your poems, but this one is so classy
"But i know i cant stay here"
that is so glorious
Vanessa |
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Re: Can't Stay Here
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 04:18:38 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like how you dealt with the retrospection in this one...at least as for as not letting yesterday in and knowing you can't stay. I can relate to not being sure what one wants to do and you give a glimmer of hope in the end to move on...to see what tomorrow will bring.
Awesome poem, Snemmers. :-)
Tim |
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