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Hated Stagnation
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Sunday, 30th May 2004 @ 09:08:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Drowning... even though I've attempted to hold on
Amidst everything that suggests otherwise
Trying to crawl out of here
Caught in this hell called reality
My eyes are hollow pools
And I cling to everything that is real
While I'm bled dry by leeches of depression
Every day...
I face the world in stony silence
I'm blind, but my defiance runs free
While my blood flows ever colder
I stroke the waters of my life
So gently... as if...
Beckoning me... to fall
And I mock myself
So eloquently, without restraint
I open up my skin
And bid myself to bleakly weep
Betrayed by fate
As onward I plod
Plotting ways to die
Aching for a sign
That will allow me to live
Purging the noises that assail me
As I come to the realization
That the only way I can escape
Is to annihilate myself.
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2004-05-30 21:08:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hated Stagnation
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Sunday, 30th May 2004 @ 09:20:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I think your newest 'scrawl' was well done, Joel... The imagery here was good..
Hope all is well..
Hugs
Jenni |
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Re: Hated Stagnation
(User Rating: 1 )
by Black13 on
Sunday, 30th May 2004 @ 09:41:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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D*amn good Joel.
This was awesome.
Thanks for the help with that worthless mongrel.
This was a great write though man.
Nice.
It all started with the first line...
Nora is awesome helping though. Heh. |
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Re: Hated Stagnation
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Monday, 31st May 2004 @ 01:19:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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*applauds*
Niiiiiiice, Joel . . . heh, like I already told you. Anyhow, great job, vivid 'n' powerful and the like . . . and, like I already said, I did next to nothing and it was awesome before you showed it to me :-P.
--Nora |
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Re: Hated Stagnation
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Monday, 31st May 2004 @ 07:47:17 AM AEST
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teehee,
i like this,
great images, very powerful.
another great one.
*hugs* phil xxx |
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Re: Hated Stagnation
(User Rating: 1 )
by SensitiveSoAbused on
Tuesday, 1st June 2004 @ 12:13:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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hey ive told you this before but this is for all you others too.
i like this line "Every day...
I face the world in stony silence" i could really see you in it
"I open up my skin
And bid myself to bleakly weep"
i like that line too.
as odd as it sounds, i like the way youve capitalized the beginnings of sentences. it may strike as old fashioned, but it caused me to pay more attention to each line individually.
"While my blood flows ever colder
I stroke the waters of my life
So gently... as if...
Beckoning me... to fall"
i got a reallyt cool visual from that line too.
good stuff man... keep telling me to read more.
lane
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Re: Hated Stagnation
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 3rd June 2004 @ 12:18:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Good imagery..very realistic..I could almost relate these lines..it is captivating.Joel..I am happy to see your comment on my poem. thank you very much..venkat |
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