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My overwhelming obsession
Contributed by
MDodgen
on
Tuesday, 1st June 2004 @ 03:03:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
From the first time I laid eyes on you,
the room turned bright, I ceased being blue.
Your smile brings warmth to my heart,
even if we're just playing Mario Cart.
I long so much to make you happy,
please don't think I'm just being sappy.
I know we both have men in town,
but trust me, they're into in-hands down.
Just let me know how you feel at this time,
I don't want to cross the invisible line.
If you say yes, I know I'll be the best,
I'm just asking for a chance to pass that test.
Copyright ©
MDodgen
... [
2004-06-01 15:03:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My overwhelming obsession
(User Rating: 1 )
by alecfernadez on
Tuesday, 1st June 2004 @ 03:43:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I liked this one, its a happy poem! keep up the gd work |
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Re: My overwhelming obsession
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ina on
Tuesday, 1st June 2004 @ 04:10:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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It's a defintley cute poem but too simple. Some of the rhymes seem forced, you know?
I really giggled at this line:
"Your smile brings warmth to my heart,
even if we're just playing Mario Cart."
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Re: My overwhelming obsession
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Wednesday, 2nd June 2004 @ 02:48:12 AM AEST
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| I know your true intentions! I like the poem alot. simple but straight to the point. expresses emotions well |
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Re: My overwhelming obsession
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 03:07:29 AM AEST
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| well expressed. |
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