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Weeping Willow
Contributed by
Luinil
on
Wednesday, 2nd June 2004 @ 06:07:02 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I can see the path plainly
From the willow on the hill
Frenzied existence surrounds me
Waiting, watching, I sit still
Melodic message serenading my stay
Earths renewal beneath sky blue
The willow waves in the wind today
She reaches out, in hopes of greeting you
Sun blazes angrily against the tree
Shadows cast, covering my seat
Behind, shore is scraped unrelenting by sea
Willow reaches down, caressing my feet
Leaves float gently, dead on the ground
Wind groans, heaving willows dying wings
Still we sit waiting, on autumns parched ground
Lanterns shiver, nave child sings
Eyes fixed on the boundless road
Snow spreads cover upon the green
Doubt now my company, my irksome foe
No travelers yet to be seen
Ages have come and passed away
As I strain to see from the hill
Hope now frozen in lifeless veins
Waiting, watching, I sit still
Copyright ©
Luinil
... [
2004-06-02 06:07:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Weeping Willow
(User Rating: 1 )
by apollo on
Wednesday, 2nd June 2004 @ 06:49:34 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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amazing! i loved the flow to this poem, and the message i just can't believe, it is so great what the mind can think up. i have to read this again because it is so intriguing and a great read indeed. great job i cant wait to read more.
brandon |
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Re: Weeping Willow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd June 2004 @ 06:57:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Interesting write. I'm not sure what the message was (if there was one), but alluding to a weeping willow o'er a long wait is something I haven't read or tried before.
Your rhyme is very good, and this is what sets it apart from other poems I have read today.
Enjoyable read.
Keep writing. |
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Re: Weeping Willow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arwen on
Wednesday, 2nd June 2004 @ 07:54:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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good imagery. I got this sense of the world moving, changing and strangely enough, your poem had a touch of timelessness and patience. Very effective.
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