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Flawless Fatality
Contributed by
brigitte7735
on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 12:36:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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Mirror reflects numerous defects
Young minds' persuassion's unfold
Spirits becloud, hope disavowed
Under a matron's meticulous mold
Irridescent quandom, assuredly succomb
Childish conviction's treacherous escape
Into obscurity, as you mimic maturity
Distinctly carbon, amorphous shape
Excoriate ache, curiously partake
Pray for the strength to see it prevail
On the mezzanine, a final scene
Ended illustrious in a mortal tale
Mirrors reflection....at last perfection
Copyright ©
brigitte7735
... [
2004-06-04 00:36:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Flawless Fatality
(User Rating: 1 )
by JT on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 12:52:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Nice write. great flow, solid verses from start to finish. great wording
-jt- |
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Re: Flawless Fatality
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vermillion on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 06:45:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow...you have the biggest vocabulary ive ever seen.you surely dont dumb anything down which shows me how intelligent you are. but more on the subject that was an excellent poem with great rythem and rhyme.keep em coming.
~vermillion~ |
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Re: Flawless Fatality
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 06:52:35 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Gah! Finally, a poetess who makes me reach for the dictionary!!
Bravo!
Excoriate, indeed! Yous two should say your vows over a dictionary instead of a bible . . . *sigh*
(Congratulations, by the way) |
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Re: Flawless Fatality
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 07:38:47 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This just impresses me more with every read. Excellent, complex rhymes, solid rhythm, and a hidden message for our more scrutinous readers. I believe this is the best of your work thus far, and it's effulgence shines far brighter than my simple accolades can due credit.
I love it almost as much as the person who penned it :)
Gazing a sunrise in lover's arms,
-Dan |
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Re: Flawless Fatality
(User Rating: 1 )
by emphaticplacebo on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 07:41:07 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| really great write! It flows smooth with phrases rather than complete sentences.. I totally dig your style, keep it up! |
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Re: Flawless Fatality
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Sunday, 6th June 2004 @ 07:48:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Oh, after reading this, you and Dan make so much sense to me. A lovely write.
Stitch |
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Re: Flawless Fatality
(User Rating: 1 )
by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 03:11:24 AM AEST
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We all get this way sometimes. Some of more often then others (me!). What could make this better? Who knows? But I wish for it every night. Great poem.
Lindsey |
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Re: Flawless Fatality
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Monday, 28th June 2004 @ 07:26:16 PM AEST
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A beautiful poem, everything about it sings to me like a choir in a church perfect
though one thing sticks in my mind to tell you for when you next get angry...
Nobodies perfect, but just remember your perfect at being you, if that doesn't work, just think, nobodies perfect, but when you write you seem to be that one bit closer than everyone else.
Luke |
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