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Ride
Contributed by
jt
on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 01:04:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Disassociation
Wanting beyond means
Hoping beyond feelings
Reaching from my dreams
Awakening unearthly
Falling from my grasp
Dieing ever slowly
Reeling from the past
Striving undetermined
Digging from my mind
Holding onto heartache
Not wanting to find
Unexplained emotions
Ever present tide
Washing, clensing, Painful
Unforgiving ride
Copyright ©
jt
... [
2004-06-04 01:04:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ride
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Wednesday, 9th June 2004 @ 06:12:47 AM AEST
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Oh this is a very wellwritten, thought provoking poem! What a ride we put ourselves on! I've been there many a time. First you're up and then your down......and then the Tide takes you all around!
Torture is what it is.......this unforgiving ride
Loved this one......keep them coming please
Poetic hugs
consue |
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Re: Ride
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stoney1 on
Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 08:54:34 AM AEST
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two pairs of denim pants
five sport shirts
3 golf shirts
one gym towel
three tee shirts
5 pairs underwear
9 pairs socks
The analogy I'm drawing here is that your poem reads like a
laundry list.
I'm a great believer in conciseness, but don't cut so deep that you
strip the poem of all of all its juicy meat!
Stoney |
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